shy hony verbum et offer him smaxy quilia smaxy
quilta--sniaxy maxin in quilia."*

* Let not our readers suppose that the above version in
the mouth of a totally illiterate peasant is
overcharged; for we have the advantage of remembering
how we ourselves used to hear it pronounced in our
early days. We will back the version in the text
against Edward Irving's new language--for any money.--
Original note.

"Very well, Kelly, right enough, all except the pronouncing,
which wouldn't pass muster in Maynooth, however. How many kinds of
commandments are there?"

"Two, sir."

"What are they?"

"God's and the Church's."

"Repeat God's share of them."

He then repeated the first commandment according to his catechism.

"Very good, Kelly, very good. Well now, repeat the commandments of the
Church."

"First--Sundays and holidays, Mass thou shalt sartinly hear;

"Second--All holidays sanctificate throughout all the whole year.

"Third--Lent, Ember days, and Virgins, thou shalt be sartain to fast;

"Fourth--Fridays and Saturdays flesh thou shalt not, good, bad or
indifferent, taste.

"Fifth--In Lent and Advent, nuptial fastes gallantly forbear.

"Sixth--Confess your sins, at laste once dacently and soberly every
year.

"Seventh--Resave your God at confission about great Easter-day;

"Eighth--And to his Church and his own frolicsome clargy neglect not
tides (tithes) to pay."

"Well," said his Eeverence, "now, to great point is, do you understand
them?"

"Wid the help of God, I hope so, your Rev'rence; and I have also the
three thriptological vartues."

"Theological, sirrah!"

"Theojollyological vartues; the four sins that cry to heaven for
vingeance; the five carnal vartues--prudence, justice, timptation, and
solitude; (* Temperance and fortitude) the seven deadly sins; the eight
grey attitudes--"

"Grey attitudes! Oh, the Boeotian!" exclaimed his Eeverence, "listen to
the way in which he's playing havoc among them. Stop, sir," for Kelly
was going on at full speed--"Stop, sir. I tell you it's not gray
attitudes, but bay attitudes--doesn't every one know the eight
beatitudes?"

"The eight bay attitudes; the nine ways of being guilty of another's
sins; the ten commandments; the twelve fruits of a Christian; the
fourteen stations of the cross; the fifteen mystheries of the passion--"

"Kelly," said his Eeverence, interrupting him, and heralding, the joke,
for so it was