rned towards him and saw that he was lying on the grass. His
shoulders were shaking. She knew that he was crying. That seemed
terrible to her. She had to run, then, very quickly away from him or she
would have stayed--and been soft. As she ran she, too, was crying.

CHAPTER XXIX

Louis was on the verandah as she came round the fence. She saw his eyes
blazing madly, his face distorted, his hands clenched. He came to meet
her, raging.

"Where've you been?" he choked out.

She waved her hand over towards where Kraill was. She could not speak.

"Whose is this hat? It's that damned professor's!"

"Yes."

"Where is he? Why are you crying? He's come here after you!" he raved.

"He's gone," she said faintly. "Gone--for always. Except
in my thoughts--inhibited thoughts--thoughts washed and
boiled--thoughts--Oh--sterilized."

"What in hell are you talking about?" he cried, taking her by the
shoulders and shaking her fiercely. "Why are you crying, I say?"

"Because he's gone," she said, and cried all the more.

"My God! The impudence of it--telling me," he shouted, and seemed to be
strangling with rage.

"The--the--honesty of it, Louis. Oh and--the--the awfulness of it! I'm
crying because I can't bear it!"

"You--you--" he gasped, and paused for a word.

"Louis," she said, raising wet, miserable eyes to his. "I've sent him
away, but I daren't, daren't trust myself not to run after him. Oh and
it would so spoil things for him and all of us if I did! Listen, Louis,
can't you grab me and not let me go after him? I can't hold myself back,
and I _did_ promise him I wouldn't let my thoughts get greedy! He said I
was in armour--Louis, my dear, I've tried to help you so often when you
were being torn in two. Can't you--my dear--it's your turn now."

"You damned adulterer!" he gasped, finding the word at last.

She sobbed, and in her sobs he saw fear, guilt. He flung her to the
ground, repeating the word.

"Oh you silly, silly fool," she cried. "He's better than that--if I'm
not."

"Then what in hell are you crying about?"

"Because I'm not--not a damned adulterer!" the words were torn from her.
"But I can't clean my thoughts of wanting to be. My dear--after so
long--I've helped you and been patient. Can't you do something--now, to
make me able to bear it?"

"Now _you_ know what it is to--" he began with an ugly laugh. Then rage
seized him. "I'll break his damned neck," he cried.

"That's no use! What wil