both the
babies, and then killing myself. I had actually risen in search of a
weapon, but I heard my faithful Tulee coming to look upon me, to see
that all was well, and I lay down again and pretended to be asleep.
While I waited for her to cease watching over me, that frightful mood
passed away. Thank God, I was saved from committing such horrible
deeds. But I was still half frantic with misery and fear. A wild, dark
storm was raging in my soul. I looked at the two babes, and thought
how one was born to be indulged and honored, while the other was born
a slave, liable to be sold by his unfeeling father or by his father's
creditors. Mine was only a week the oldest, and was no larger than his
brother. They were so exactly alike that I could distinguish them only
by their dress. I exchanged the dresses, Alfred; and while I did it,
I laughed to think that, if Mr. Fitzgerald should capture me and the
little one, and make us over to Mr. Bruteman, he would sell the child
of his Lily Bell. It was not like me to have such feelings. I hope I
was insane. Do you think I was?"

He pressed her to his heart as he replied, "You surely had suffering
enough to drive you wild, dearest; and I do suppose your reason was
unsettled by intensity of anguish."

She looked at him anxiously, as she asked, "Then it does not make you
love me less?"

"No, darling," he replied; "for I am sure it was not my own gentle
Rosa who had such feelings."

"O, how I thank you, dear one, for judging me so charitably," said
she. "I hope it was temporary insanity; and always when I think it
over, it seems to me it must have been. I fell asleep smiling over the
revenge I had taken, and I slept long and heavily. When I woke, my
first wish was to change the dresses back again; but Chloe had gone
to the plantation with my babe, and Mr. Duroy hurried me on board the
boat before sunrise. I told no one what I had done; but it filled me
with remorse then, and has troubled me ever since. I resolved to atone
for it, as far as I could, by taking the tenderest care of the little
changeling, and trying to educate him as well as his own mother could
have done. It was that which gave me strength to work so hard for
musical distinction; and that motive stimulated me to appear as an
opera-singer, though the publicity was distasteful to me. When I
heard that the poor little creature was dead, I was tormented with
self-reproach, and I was all the more unhappy because I could