. My best hope was to see him
accepted as my expiation; but when I got back, and you wouldn't have him
at any price, and I found myself living and lifelike, and had seen her
again--'

'Her? Phoebe? My poor boy, you do not mean--'

'I do mean that I was a greater fool than you even took me for,' said
Owen, with rising colour. 'First and last, that pure child's face and
honest, plain words had an effect on me which nothing else had. The
other affair was a mere fever by comparison, and half against my will.'

'Owen!'

'Yes, it was. When I was with that poor thing, her fervour carried me
along; and as to the marriage, it was out of shortsighted dread of the
uproar that would have followed if I had not done it. Either she would
have drowned herself, or her mother would have prosecuted me for breach
of promise, or she would have proclaimed all to Lucy or Mr. Prendergast.
I hadn't courage for either; though, Honor, I had nearly told you the day
I went to Ireland, when I felt myself done for.'

'You were married then?'

'Half-an-hour!' said Owen, with something of a smile, and a deep sigh.
'If I had spoken, it would have saved a life! but I could not bear to
lose my place with you, nor to see that sweet face turned from me.'

'You must have known that it would come out in time, Owen. I never could
understand your concealment.'

'I hardly can,' said Owen, 'except that one shuffles off unpleasant
subjects! I did fancy I could stave it off till Oxford was over, and I
was free of the men there; but that notion might have been a mere excuse
to myself for putting off the evil day. I was too much in debt, too, for
an open rupture with you; and as to her, I can truly say that my sole
shadow of an excuse is that I was too young and selfish to understand
what I was inflicting!' He passed his hand over his face, and groaned,
as he added--'Well, that is over now; and at last I can bear to look at
her child!' Then recurring in haste to the former subject--'You were
asking about Phoebe! Yes, when I saw the fresh face ennobled but as
simple as ever, the dog in the manger seemed to me a reasonable beast!
Randolf's admiration was a bitter pill. If I were to be nailed here for
ever, I could not well spare the moonbeams from my prison! But that's
over now--it was a diseased fancy! I have got my boy now, and can move
about; and when I get into harness, and am in the way of seeing people,
and maturing my invention, I shall