nion, which for want, as he
deemed, of due reverence in his first approach to it, became the occasion
of a temporary revival of his old temptations. While actually at the
Lord's Table he was "forced to bend himself to pray" to be kept from
uttering blasphemies against the ordinance itself, and cursing his fellow
communicants. For three-quarters of a year he could "never have rest or
ease" from this shocking perversity. The constant strain of beating off
this persistent temptation seriously affected his health. "Captain
Consumption," who carried off his own "Mr. Badman," threatened his life.
But his naturally robust constitution "routed his forces," and brought
him through what at one time he anticipated would prove a fatal illness.
Again and again, during his period of indisposition, the Tempter took
advantage of his bodily weakness to ply him with his former despairing
questionings as to his spiritual state. That seemed as bad as bad could
be. "Live he must not; die he dare not." He was repeatedly near giving
up all for lost. But a few words of Scripture brought to his mind would
revive his drooping spirits, with a natural reaction on his physical
health, and he became "well both in body and mind at once." "My sickness
did presently vanish, and I walked comfortably in my work for God again."
At another time, after three or four days of deep dejection, some words
from the Epistle to the Hebrews "came bolting in upon him," and sealed
his sense of acceptance with an assurance he never afterwards entirely
lost. "Then with joy I told my wife, 'Now I know, I know.' That night
was a good night to me; I never had but few better. I could scarce lie
in my bed for joy and peace and triumph through Christ."

During this time Bunyan, though a member of the Bedford congregation,
continued to reside at Elstow, in the little thatched wayside tenement,
with its lean-to forge at one end, already mentioned, which is still
pointed out as "Bunyan's Cottage." There his two children, Mary, his
passionately loved blind daughter, and Elizabeth were born; the one in
1650, and the other in 1654. It was probably in the next year, 1655,
that he finally quitted his native village and took up his residence in
Bedford, and became a deacon of the congregation. About this time also
he must have lost the wife to whom he owed so much. Bunyan does not
mention the event, and our only knowledge of it is from the conversation
of his second wif