mistake on his part. By suffering him to
indulge in this delusive impression, I saved myself all the trouble of
concealing my real feelings, which I had no desire to expose before him.
I permitted him, therefore, to reason with me on the groundless notions
he supposed I had conceived of the world's feeling regarding me,
and heard him patiently as he detailed the course of public duty, by
fulfilling which I should occupy my fitting place in society, and best
consult my own health and happiness.

"There are," said he, "certain fixed impressions, which I would not so
combat. It was but yesterday, for instance, I yielded to the wish of
an old general officer, who has served upwards of half a century, and
desires once more to put himself at the head of his regiment. His
heart was bent on it. I saw that though he might consent to abandon his
purpose, I was not so sure his mind might bear the disappointment; for
the intellect will sometimes go astray in endeavoring to retrace its
steps. So I thought it better to concede what might cost more in the
refusal."

The last words of the doctor remained in my head long after he took his
leave, and I could not avoid applying them to my own case. Was not _my_
impression of this nature? Were not _my_ thoughts all centred on one
theme as fixedly as the officer's of whom he spoke? Could I, by any
effort of my reason or my will, control my wandering fancies, and call
them back to the dull realities amongst which I lived?

These were ever recurring to me, and always with the same reply. It is
in vain to struggle against an impulse which has swallowed up all other
ambitions. My heart is among the glittering ranks and neighing squadrons
of France; I would be there once more; I would follow that career which
first stirred the proudest hopes I ever cherished.

That same evening the mail brought the news that Eugene Beauharnais had
fallen back on Magdeburg, and sent repeated despatches to the Emperor,
entreating his immediate presence among the troops, whom nothing but
Napoleon himself in the midst of them could restore to their wonted
bravery and determination. The reply of Napoleon was briefly,--

"I am coming; and all who love me, follow me."

How the words rang in my ears,--"_Tous ceux qui m'aiment!_" I heard
them in every rustling of the wind and motion of the leaves against the
window; they were whispered to my sense by every avenue of my brain;
and I sat no longer occupied in readin