d, your Lordship is
undoubtedly apprised of it; if things yet remain for arrangement,
your grounds for mere fabrics of speculation must ere this be
better laid than mine; and so, in either case, I'd better e'en
refrain from the subject, until Thursday begins the course of
authentic matter for my letters.
Meantime, a word in regard to myself. I write under the greatest
embarrassment of mind, between pressing necessity of not moving
from London and a justness of sentiment which would particularly at
this moment urge my repairing to you at the Castle. When your kind
friendship conferred what, at that moment, was a most essential aid
to my family subsistence, your goodness added that I need not visit
Ireland oftener than the convenience of my family allowed. Of this
goodness I by no means thought to avail myself, and proposed this
winter proceeding with my wife and son to the Castle, and returning
to accomplish the passing of my "Poor Laws," in February or March.
The loss of my father hath placed me in a situation wherein, from
the magnitude and delicacy of the concern, every hour may afford an
important crisis; and in which a single omission, a momentary
absence, may entail consequences irretrievable, in matters wherein
the result to me and mine is to be conjoined reputation and
affluence, or disgrace and penury. I cannot, under impression of
such alternatives, delegate an iota of conduct to a second person.
I have laid down a systematic plan of conduct for myself, which in
executing I am sure of honour and credit, have a certainty of
competence, and a prospect of considerable wealth. The more I
reflect, the more I am confirmed in the propriety of the grounds of
procedure which I have adopted, and I feel myself equal to the
accomplishment, as far as it depends on steady pursuit of a
well-weighed purpose. Obstacles, however, may arise, and
difficulties occur, such as I have _daily_ to obviate or to
surmount, in shape of impatient creditors, who, if they were not
led to just understanding of circumstances, would not wait two
years for a final liquidation of private claims, with an inventory
before them in the Commons of property to the amount of L200,000,
but would jump forward to their own and my loss. One of the two
years I have now securely i
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