iss cheese, little one" (that referred to
me, not the cheese). Schmitz would stroll over from where he was
trying to keep busy watching everyone at once, enter the very confines
of my compartment, and stand over me while I sliced that Swiss cheese.
It was always either too big, in which case he took the knife from my
hands and sliced off one-sixteenth of an inch on one end; or too
small, in which case Schmitz would endeavor to slice a new piece
altogether. The chances were it would end in being even smaller than
the slice I cut. In that case, Schmitz would say, "Led it go, anyway."
And then, because he would always be very fair, he stood and explained
at length why the piece was too big, if it were too big, or too small,
if too small. "You know, it's dis vay--" My Gawd! not once, but every
night. There was always one slice too many or too few on the
sliced-tomato order. Schmitz would say, "There must be five slices."
The next time I put on five slices Schmitz stuck that nose of his
around the waiter's shoulder.

"Hey, vhat's dat? Only five slices? De guests won't stand for dat, you
know. Dey pay good money here. Put anoder slice on."

I was wont to get fearfully exasperated at times.

"But," I remonstrated, "last time I had on six and you told me to put
on five!"

"Yes, yes, but I expect you to use your common sense!"

That was his invariable comeback. And always followed by his patient:

"You see, it's dis vay--If you put on too much the hotel, vhy, dey
lose money, and of course you see it's dis vay: naturally" (that was a
pet word of Schmitz's), "naturally the hotel don't vant to lose
money--you can see dat for yourself. Now on the odder hand if you
don't put on enough, vhy of course you see it's dis vay, naturally a
guest vants to get his money's vorth, you can see dat for
yourself--you've just got to use your common sense, you can see dat
for yourself." Not once, but day after day, night after night. Poor,
poor Mrs. Schmitz! Verily there are worse things than first-degree
murder and intoxication.

But for all that Schmitz deigned not to allow it to be known that my
scrubbings found favor in his sight, my own soul approved of me. The
shelves and the sink I scrubbed. Then every perishable article in my
ice chest or elsewhere got placed upon trays to go upstairs. By this
time it was two minutes to nine. Schmitz, always with his hands
clasped behind him, except when he was doing over everything I did,
said, "Yo