keep
crinkling up the corners of her mouth, although she kept smoothing them
out with her apron.

"Well, Mary?" said her mistress.

"If you p-p-please 'M," said Mary, who then stopped short, for something
seemed to have got in her throat.

"Mary!" exclaimed Mrs Inglis, severely.

Poor Mary looked as serious directly, as if she were going to lose her
situation, and making an effort she began again.

"If you please, 'M, here's Mr-- Oh! dear; oh!--hoo--hoo--guggle--
guggle--gug--gug--gug; choke--choke; cough--cough," went Mary, burying
her face in her apron, and completely losing her breath, and turning
almost black in the face with, her efforts to stifle her laughter. "Oh!
dear; oh! dear," she said, trying to run out of the room, but Mrs
Inglis stopped her, and insisted upon knowing what was the cause of her
mirth.

"Oh, 'M, please, 'M, here's Mr Jones come, and wants to see Master; and
oh, 'M, please, 'M--he--he--he--he--he--he's in such a mess. Oh! dear;
oh! dear; what shall I do!"

"Do," said Mrs Inglis, at last, quite angrily. "Why, go and ask Mr
Jones to step in here; or no, tell him to step into the drawing-room."

"Oh, please, 'M, don't," said Mary, serious in a moment. "Please, 'M,
don't; he ain't fit, and he'll come off black over everything he comes
a-nigh."

"Well, send him here, then," said Mrs Inglis; and away went Mary back
into the hall, and directly after she ushered in Mr Jones, who
presented such an appearance that both Mr and Mrs Inglis at once
excused poor Mary's laughter, for they had hard work to restrain their
own mirth.

Mr Jones was a retired exciseman, and of the description of man known
as dapper; he was a little, fat, chubby fellow, who dressed very
smartly, always wearing white trousers in the summer, and a buff
waistcoat, made so as to show as much shirt-front and as little
waistcoat as possible. He was a man who always used to labour under,
the idea that he looked very fierce, and, to make himself look fiercer,
he used to brush his hair all up into a pyramid over the barren place on
the top of his head, so that the hair used to form a regular pomatumed
spike. But he did not look at all fierce, for his fat round face, dull
eyes, and tenchy mouth would not let him; but he used to speak very
loudly, and thump his Malacca cane down on the ground, and strut and
look as important as many more people do who have not brains enough to
teach them their insignificance as parts of cr