n paper at a moderate cost for the
poor; but the rich have them written on parchment and handsomely bound,
so that the getting up of a person's birth formula is a test of his
social position. They commence by setting forth, That whereas A. B. was
a member of the kingdom of the unborn, where he was well provided for in
every way, and had no cause of discontent, &c. &c., he did of his own
wanton restlessness conceive a desire to enter into this present world;
that thereon having taken the necessary steps as set forth in laws of the
unborn kingdom, he set himself with malice aforethought to plague and
pester two unfortunate people who had never wronged him, and who were
quite contented until he conceived this base design against their peace;
for which wrong he now humbly entreats their pardon. He acknowledges
that he is responsible for all physical blemishes and deficiencies which
may render him answerable to the laws of his country; that his parents
have nothing whatever to do with any of these things; and that they have
a right to kill him at once if they be so minded, though he entreats them
to show their marvellous goodness and clemency towards him by sparing his
life. If they will do this he promises to be their most abject creature
during his earlier years, and indeed unto his life's end, unless they
should see fit in their abundant generosity to remit some portion of his
service hereafter. And so the formula continues, going sometimes into
very minute details, according to the fancies of family lawyers, who will
not make it any shorter than they can help.

The deed being thus prepared, on the third or fourth day after the birth
of the child, or as they call it, the "final importunity," the friends
gather together, and there is a feast held, where they are all very
melancholy--as a general rule, I believe quite truly so--and make
presents to the father and mother of the child in order to console them
for the injury which has just been done them by the unborn. By and by
the child himself is brought down by his nurse, and the company begin to
rail upon him, upbraiding him for his impertinence and asking him what
amends he proposes to make for the wrong that he has committed, and how
he can look for care and nourishment from those who have perhaps already
been injured by the unborn on some ten or twelve occasions; for they say
of people with large families, that they have suffered terrible injuries
from the unborn;