noise, or the doctor
begged that she might not be excited or worried, I fancied that
doctors and nurses always did say things of that sort, and that there
was no particular need to attend to them.

"Not that I was unfeeling to my dear mother, for I loved her
devotedly in my wilful worldly way. It was for her sake that I had
been so vexed by the poverty into which my father's death had plunged
us. For her sake I worried her, by grumbling before her at our narrow
lodgings and lost comforts. For her sake, child, in my madness, I
wasted the hours in which I might have soothed, and comforted, and
waited on her, in dreaming of wild schemes for making myself famous
and rich, and giving her back all and more than she had lost. For her
sake I fancied myself pouring money at her feet, and loading her with
luxuries, while she was praying for me to our common Father, and
laying up treasure for herself in Heaven.

"One day I remember, when she was remonstrating with me over a bad
report which the schoolmaster had given of me (he said I could work,
but wouldn't), my vanity overcame my prudence, and I told her that I
thought some fellows were made to 'fag,' and some not; that I had been
writing a poem in my dictionary the day that I had done so badly, and
that I hoped to be a poet long before my master had composed a
grammar. I can see now her sorrowful face as, with tears in her eyes,
she told me that all 'fellows' alike were made to do their duty
'before GOD, and Angels, and Men.' That it was by improving
the little events and opportunities of every day that men became
great, and not by neglecting them for their own presumptuous fancies.
And she entreated me to strive to do my duty, and to leave the rest
with GOD. I listened, however, impatiently to what I called a
'jaw' or a 'scold,' and then (knowing the tender interest she took in
all I did) I tried to coax her by offering to read my poem. But she
answered with just severity, that what she wished was to see me a good
man, not a great one; and that she would rather see my exercises duly
written than fifty poems composed at the expense of my neglected duty.
Then she warned me tenderly of the misery which my conceit would bring
upon me, and bade me, when I said my evening prayers, to add that
prayer of King David, 'Keep Thy servant from presumptuous sins, lest
they get the dominion over me.'

"Alas! they had got the dominion over me already, too strongly for her
words to take an