the thought of
the adamantine character of his soul, which could thus definitely close
its gates on her for ever and ever, she became wild, angry,
feverish--not quite sane.
"Oh, don't say that!" she pleaded, foolishly. "Please don't. Please
don't say that. It might come back a little if--if--you would only
believe in it. Don't you see how I feel? Don't you see how it is?"
She dropped to her knees and clasped him about the waist. "Oh, Frank!
Oh, Frank! Oh, Frank!" she began to call, crying. "I can't stand it! I
can't! I can't! I can't! I shall die."
"Don't give way like that, Aileen," he pleaded. "It doesn't do any
good. I can't lie to myself. I don't want to lie to you. Life is too
short. Facts are facts. If I could say and believe that I loved you I
would say so now, but I can't. I don't love you. Why should I say
that I do?"
In the content of Aileen's nature was a portion that was purely
histrionic, a portion that was childish--petted and spoiled--a portion
that was sheer unreason, and a portion that was splendid emotion--deep,
dark, involved. At this statement of Cowperwood's which seemed to
throw her back on herself for ever and ever to be alone, she first
pleaded willingness to compromise--to share. She had not fought
Stephanie Platow, she had not fought Florence Cochrane, nor Cecily
Haguenin, nor Mrs. Hand, nor, indeed, anybody after Rita, and she would
fight no more. She had not spied on him in connection with
Berenice--she had accidentally met them. True, she had gone with other
men, but? Berenice was beautiful, she admitted it, but so was she in
her way still--a little, still. Couldn't he find a place for her yet in
his life? Wasn't there room for both?
At this expression of humiliation and defeat Cowperwood was sad, sick,
almost nauseated. How could one argue? How make her understand?
"I wish it were possible, Aileen," he concluded, finally and heavily,
"but it isn't."
All at once she arose, her eyes red but dry.
"You don't love me, then, at all, do you? Not a bit?"
"No, Aileen, I don't. I don't mean by that that I dislike you. I don't
mean to say that you aren't interesting in your way as a woman and that
I don't sympathize with you. I do. But I don't love you any more. I
can't. The thing I used to feel I can't feel any more."
She paused for a moment, uncertain how to take this, the while she
whitened, grew more tense, more spiritual than she had been in many a
da
|