fore he said it.
People's Choice, he stands on the back platform with one hand in his
bosom, and says he: 'Fellow-citizens of Basswood Junction, I am proud
to see before me this large and distinguished gatherin' of our noble
North American fauna. My visit to your pleasant valley is wholly
without political significance. These noble et cetera; these smilin'
et cetera; these beautiful et cetera, fill me with the proudest
emotions of et cetera. This, our great and glorious et cetera;
Basswood Junction has four magnificent factories, and is the centre
of three great trunk lines of railroad which radiate et cetera; it
is destined to be a great commercial et cetera. And what could be
more confirmatory of the sober, practical judgment of the citizens of
this flourishing community than the fact that they have produced and
given to the world that distinguished statesman and gentleman, the
Hon. Charles D. Bastrop, who is your representative in the Congress
of the United States and who has always et cetera, et cetera?
'Fellow-citizens, the issue before this country to-day--' and that
was where he would hit his gait.

"He had three of these, and on the schedule laid out by the chairman of
the Central Committee he couldn't spring any two alike closer together
than a hundred miles. The whole business would take about five minutes
to a station. We would put number Two, or number Three, or whichever
it was, on the wire, while the People's Choice was talkin', provided we
could catch the station agent, who on such occasions was bigger than
the President. Then, toot! toot! and we were off for the next Basswood
Junction, to show 'em who was their spontaneous choice.

"Well, that was all right, and it was easy work to report. The only
thing was not to get number One speech mixed up with number Two or
number Three at any given point. The Honorable Secretary had to attend
to that. So all the time we were bored for something to do. What we
was hopin' and longin' for all the time was that some one in the
opposition at some station would haul off and throw a brick at the car.
Then we would have had some News."

"Oh," said I, "you got to wanting news! You had a narrow escape."

"Maybe," said Dan Anderson. "I admit I got to likin' the game. I
think, too, I did get to understandin' what news was. So one day, when
I was mighty tired of the four-factory, railroad-centre,
leadin'-citizen business, I mixed up the speeches on the Hono