per form. I commenced the work of writing a lecture
forthwith; and in a few days I had ready what I deemed a rather superior
production.

II.--HOW HE PROCEEDED TO DO IT.

I gave up my lodgings in town, sold all my salable possessions, settled
up with my landlord, paid my printers in the usual way (i.e., with
promises), and, supplied with a satchel-full of hand-bills (from a rival
establishment), started for the country. My ticket was for Sidon--a
place I knew nothing whatever about; the only circumstance of a positive
character connected with it was, that it was the farthest point from New
York which I could reach by the Rattle and Smash Railroad for the net
amount of funds in my pocket. I stepped into the streets of Sidon with a
light heart, and looked out on the scene of my contemplated triumph. I
made up my mind at once that if ancient Sidon was no more of a place
than modern Sidon, it couldn't lay claim to being much of a town. The
houses, including shops and stores, would not exceed one hundred. I
walked to the tavern, and delivered my satchel to the custody of a
rough-looking animal, whom I subsequently found to be landlord, hostler,
bar-tender, table-waiter, and general manager-at-all-work. He was a very
uninviting subject; but, being myself courteously inclined, and having
also a brisk eye to business, I inquired if there was a public hall or
lecture-room in the place.

'I've got a dance-hall up-stairs. Be you a showman?'

I said I was a lecturer by profession, and asked if churches were ever
used for such purposes in Sidon.

'Never heard of any. 'Ain't got no church. Be you goin' to lecter?'

I replied that I thought some of it, and inquired if it was common to
use his hall for lectures.

'Wal, Sidon ain't much of a place for shows anyhow. When they is any, I
git 'em in, if they ain't got no tent o' their own.'

I would look at the hall.

We went up a rickety stairway, into a dingy room. The plaster had fallen
from the ceiling in several places, and the room had a mouldy smell.
There was a platform at one end, where the musicians sat when saltatory
_fetes_ were held, and on this I mounted to 'take a view.' I didn't feel
called upon to admire the hall in audible terms; but as I stood there an
inspiring scene arose before my mental vision--a scene of up-turned
faces, each representing the sum of fifteen cents, that being the
regular swindle for getting into shows round here, the landlord said. I
stru