icion is gaining ground that
you two beasties imagine you have been appointed here as comedians.
Is that your delusion?"
"No, sir," replied Mr. Briggs and Mr. Ellis in one solemn breath.
"Then what ails you, misters?" demanded Dick severely.
Both plebes remained silent.
"Answer me, sirs. You first, Mr. Briggs."
"I think we must have been carried away by excess of animal spirits,
sir," replied Mr. Briggs, now speaking meekly enough.
"Animal spirits?" repeated Dick thoughtfully. "There may be much
truth and reason in that idea. Camp life here is repressive of
animal spirits, to be sure. We who are your mentors to some extent
should have thought of that. Mr. Briggs, you shall find relief for
your animal spirits. Mr. Ellis, what is your defence?"
"I thought, sir---thought-----"
With the yearling President's eyes fixed on him in stern, searching
gaze, the once merry little Mr. Ellis became confused. He broke
off stameringly.
"That's enough, Mr. Ellis," replied the class president. "You
admit that you thought. Now, no plebe is capable of thinking.
Your answer, mister, proves you to be guilty of egotism."
Then Dick, with the air of a judge, yet with a mocking pretence
of gentleness and leniency sounding; in his voice, turned back
to Plebe Briggs.
"Mr. Briggs, you will now proceed to relieve your animal spirits
by some spirited animal conduct. The animal that you will represent
will be the crab. Down on your face, mister!"
Flat on the floor lay Mr. Briggs. The yearlings outside, at the
tent doorway, scenting something coming, peered in eagerly.
"Now, spread out your arms and legs, mister, just as any good
crab should do. Raise your body from the floor. Not too much;
about six inches will do. Now, mister, move about as nearly as
possible in the manner of a crab. Stop, mister! Don't you know
that a crab moves either backwards or sideways? It will not give
enough vent to your animal spirits unless you move exactly as
your model, the crab, does. Try it again, mister, and be painstaking
in your imitation."
Mr. Briggs presented a most grotesque appearance as he crawled
about over the floor in the very limited space allowed him by
the presence of so many others. The yearlings enjoyed it all
in mirthful silence.
"As for you, mister," continued Dick, turning upon the uncomfortable
Mr. Ellis, "your self-conceit so fills every part of your body
that the only thing for you is to stand
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