s neither the courage to
reprehend vice, nor the generous warmth to defend virtue. The friendship
of such persons is without attachment, and their love without affection
or even preference. They imagine that every one who has any penetration
is ill-natured, and look coldly on a discriminating judgment. It should
be remembered, however, that this discernment does not always proceed
from an uncharitable temper, but that those who possess a long
experience and thorough knowledge of the world, scrutinize the conduct
and dispositions of people before they trust themselves to the first
fair appearances. Addison, who was not deficient in a knowledge of
mankind, observes that "a friendship, which makes the least noise, is
very often the most useful; for which reason, I should prefer a prudent
friend to a zealous one." And Joanna Baillie tells us that

"Friendship is no plant of hasty growth,
Though planted in esteem's deep-fixed soil,
The gradual culture of kind intercourse
Must bring it to perfection."

8. HOSPITALITY IS A MOST EXCELLENT VIRTUE; but care must be taken that
the love of company, for its own sake, does not become a prevailing
passion; for then the habit is no longer hospitality, but dissipation.
Reality and truthfulness in this, as in all other duties of life, are
the points to be studied; for, as Washington Irving well says, "There is
an emanation from the heart in genuine hospitality, which cannot be
described, but is immediately felt, and puts the stranger at once at his
ease." With respect to the continuance of friendships, however, it may
be found necessary, in some cases, for a mistress to relinquish, on
assuming the responsibility of a household, many of those commenced in
the earlier part of her life. This will be the more requisite, if the
number still retained be quite equal to her means and opportunities.

9. IN CONVERSATION, TRIFLING OCCURRENCES, such as small disappointments,
petty annoyances, and other every-day incidents, should never be
mentioned to your friends. The extreme injudiciousness of repeating
these will be at once apparent, when we reflect on the unsatisfactory
discussions which they too frequently occasion, and on the load of
advice which they are the cause of being tendered, and which is, too
often, of a kind neither to be useful nor agreeable. Greater events,
whether of joy or sorrow, should be communicated to friends; and, on
such occasions, their sympathy gratifies an