id take this foolish step, God would not bless me, and I should
have leisure hereafter to reflect upon having neglected his counsel when
there might be none to assist in my recovery.

I observed in this last part of his discourse, which was truly prophetic,
though I suppose my father did not know it to be so himself--I say, I
observed the tears run down his face very plentifully, especially when he
spoke of my brother who was killed: and that when he spoke of my having
leisure to repent, and none to assist me, he was so moved that he broke
off the discourse, and told me his heart was so full he could say no more
to me.

I was sincerely affected with this discourse, and, indeed, who could be
otherwise? and I resolved not to think of going abroad any more, but to
settle at home according to my father's desire. But alas! a few days
wore it all off; and, in short, to prevent any of my father's further
importunities, in a few weeks after I resolved to run quite away from
him. However, I did not act quite so hastily as the first heat of my
resolution prompted; but I took my mother at a time when I thought her a
little more pleasant than ordinary, and told her that my thoughts were so
entirely bent upon seeing the world that I should never settle to
anything with resolution enough to go through with it, and my father had
better give me his consent than force me to go without it; that I was now
eighteen years old, which was too late to go apprentice to a trade or
clerk to an attorney; that I was sure if I did I should never serve out
my time, but I should certainly run away from my master before my time
was out, and go to sea; and if she would speak to my father to let me go
one voyage abroad, if I came home again, and did not like it, I would go
no more; and I would promise, by a double diligence, to recover the time
that I had lost.

This put my mother into a great passion; she told me she knew it would be
to no purpose to speak to my father upon any such subject; that he knew
too well what was my interest to give his consent to anything so much for
my hurt; and that she wondered how I could think of any such thing after
the discourse I had had with my father, and such kind and tender
expressions as she knew my father had used to me; and that, in short, if
I would ruin myself, there was no help for me; but I might depend I
should never have their consent to it; that for her part she would not
have so much hand in my destr