he good
instruction of my father was then worn out by an uninterrupted series,
for eight years, of seafaring wickedness, and a constant conversation
with none but such as were, like myself, wicked and profane to the last
degree. I do not remember that I had, in all that time, one thought that
so much as tended either to looking upwards towards God, or inwards
towards a reflection upon my own ways; but a certain stupidity of soul,
without desire of good, or conscience of evil, had entirely overwhelmed
me; and I was all that the most hardened, unthinking, wicked creature
among our common sailors can be supposed to be; not having the least
sense, either of the fear of God in danger, or of thankfulness to God in
deliverance.

In the relating what is already past of my story, this will be the more
easily believed when I shall add, that through all the variety of
miseries that had to this day befallen me, I never had so much as one
thought of it being the hand of God, or that it was a just punishment for
my sin--my rebellious behaviour against my father--or my present sins,
which were great--or so much as a punishment for the general course of my
wicked life. When I was on the desperate expedition on the desert shores
of Africa, I never had so much as one thought of what would become of me,
or one wish to God to direct me whither I should go, or to keep me from
the danger which apparently surrounded me, as well from voracious
creatures as cruel savages. But I was merely thoughtless of a God or a
Providence, acted like a mere brute, from the principles of nature, and
by the dictates of common sense only, and, indeed, hardly that. When I
was delivered and taken up at sea by the Portugal captain, well used, and
dealt justly and honourably with, as well as charitably, I had not the
least thankfulness in my thoughts. When, again, I was shipwrecked,
ruined, and in danger of drowning on this island, I was as far from
remorse, or looking on it as a judgment. I only said to myself often,
that I was an unfortunate dog, and born to be always miserable.

It is true, when I got on shore first here, and found all my ship's crew
drowned and myself spared, I was surprised with a kind of ecstasy, and
some transports of soul, which, had the grace of God assisted, might have
come up to true thankfulness; but it ended where it began, in a mere
common flight of joy, or, as I may say, being glad I was alive, without
the least reflection upo