There was nothing else to do as far as he could see.
But he was changed. Even his companions were forced to own that. He
sang, and laughed, and jested as usual, but the heart had gone out of
his song and laughter, and he was prone to fall into deep fits of
meditation.

It was a far from satisfactory life. He cared no longer for what was
once his very existence, and he knew not as yet to what God would have
him turn. He desired to serve God, and gave himself to almsgiving. He
made a pilgrimage to Rome, only to be disgusted with the miserable
offerings put into the treasury by the pilgrims.

[Sidenote: _Conflicts._]

"Is this all they spare to God?" he cried, and pulling out his purse
flung its contents among the rest.

He was tormented and haunted by recollections of his past mis-spent
life, and for days he mourned over what was beyond recall.

There was a certain old woman in Assisi, horribly deformed and
hideously ugly. Francis, with his innate love of the beautiful,
recoiled in horror every time he met her. She was a nightmare to him,
and he would go far to avoid seeing her. The devil, who is ever ready
to work on the weakness of a human soul, used this old woman to
torture him.

"See," he said, "a picture of what you will become if you persist in
mortifying yourself, and leading a life devoted to God. You will
become as ugly and repulsive as that old woman in time."

The bare idea was agonizing to Francis. The old woman turned up
continually, and seemed to pursue him like a phantom. The temptation
may seem to stronger souls an ignoble one, but it was an intense and
severe one to Francis. He conquered by yielding himself up to the will
of God. He accepted everything--deformity, ugliness, pain--if it were
God's plan for him. Then and only then had he rest.

As soon as he had given up his warlike ambitions and returned to
Assisi, he had been in the habit of going off by himself into a cave
or grotto, and there being alone with his thoughts. Many a conflict
did that cave see, as Francis with tears and cries entreated the Lord
to show him how best to employ his life. It was during one of these
seasons that his spiritual eyes were opened. Hitherto he had followed
blindly an almost unknown God, but he _had_ followed and sought, and
the end of his faith was sight.

It came upon him all at once. Christ--His love for the sinner, His love
for him--Christ, bleeding, dying, suffering, for very love--Christ the
pure, l