you see, I got to pay a lawyer right smart of a fee; an'
besides--"

Anderson interrupted him sternly. "You owe it to your feller-citizens to
clear up this mystery. You surely don't think it is fair to your
friends, do you, 'Liphalet Loop? Purty nigh every man in town is bein'
suspicioned, an'--"

"That ain't any business o' mine," snapped Eliphalet, showing some ire.
"If they feel as though the thing ought to be cleared up jest fer
_their_ sakes, why don't they git together an' offer a reward? I don't
see why I ought to pay out money to 'stablish the innocence of all the
men in Tinkletown. Let them do it if they feel that way about it. I got
no objection to the taxpayers of Tinkletown oppropriatin' a sum out of
the town treasury to prove they're innocent. Why don't you take it up
with the selectmen, Anderson. I'm satisfied to leave my complaint as it
is. I've been thinkin' it over, an' I believe I'd ruther git my divorce
without knowin' who's the cause of it. The way it is now, I'm on
friendly terms with every man in town, an' I'd like to stay that way. It
would be mighty onpleasant to meet one of your friends on the street an'
not be able to speak to him. Long as I _don't_ know, why--"

"Wait a minute, Liff Loop," broke in Anderson sternly. "Don't say
anything more. All I got to say is that it wasn't _you_ your wife
insulted when she called you a skunk. Good mornin', sir."

He turned and strode away, leaving the amazed Mr. Loop standing with his
mouth open. Some time later that same afternoon Eliphalet succeeded in
solving the problem that had been tantalizing him all day. "By gum," he
bleated, addressing the high heavens, "what a blamed old fool he is!
Anybody with any sense at all knows that you _can't_ insult a skunk."

* * * * *

Briefly, Mr. Loop's fifth matrimonial experience had been, in the
strictest sense, a venture. After four discouraging failures in the
effort to obtain a durable wife from among the young women of Tinkletown
and vicinity, he had resolved to go farther afield for his fifth. So he
advertised through a New York matrimonial bureau for the sort of wife he
might reasonably depend upon to survive the rigours of climate, industry
and thrift. He made it quite plain that the lucky applicant would have
to be a robust creature, white, sound of lung and limb, not more than
thirty, and experienced in domestic economy. Nationality no object. Mr.
Loop's idea of the me