toll, I shall very likely
pull off my coat and let him whip me, and then as likely as
not there will be another war.

I felt faint, but I said, "How can he recommend a star idiot for a
commissioned office?"

"O, that is all right," said, the colonel, "some of the greatest idiots
in the army have received commisssions." As he spoke the rebels began to
shell the place where the pontoon bridge was being built, and I went
hunting for a place to borrow an umbrella to hold over me, to ward off
the pieces of shell. Then a battery of our own opened on the rebels, so
near me that every time a gun was discharged I could, feel the roof of
my head raise up like the cover to a band box. It was the wildest time
I ever saw. Cavalry was swimming the river to charge the rebel battery,
shells were exploding all around, and it seemed to me as though if I was
to lay a pontoon bridge I would go off somewhere out of the way, where
it would be quiet. Finally my regiment was ordered to swim the river,
and we rode in. The first lunge my horse made he went under water about
a mile, and when we came up I was not on him, but catching hold of his
tail I was dragged across the river nearly drowned, and landed on the
bank like a dog that has been after a duck I shook myself, we mounted
and without waiting to dry out our clothes we went into the fight,
before I could realize it, or back out. Scared! I was so scared it is
a wonder I did not die. That was more excitement than a county fair.
Bullets whizzing, shells shrieking, smoke stifling, yelling that was
deafening. It seemed as though I was crazy. I must have been or I could
never, as a raw recruit, with no experience, have ridden right toward
those guns that were belching forth sulphur and pieces of blacksmith
shop. I didn't dare look anywhere except right ahead. All thought
of being hit by bullets or anything was completely out of my mind.
Occasionally something would go over me that sounded as though a buzz
saw had been fired from a saw mill explosion. Presently the firing on
the rebel side ceased, and it was seen they were in retreat. I was never
so glad of anything in my life. We stopped, and I examined my clothes,
and they were perfectly dry. The excitement and warmth of the body had
acted like a drying-room in a laundry. Then I laid down under a fence
and went to sleep, and dreamed I was in hades, building a corduroy
bridge across the Styx, and that the devil repremanded me for bui