an, richer, by far in coin than in wit, who, of no lack
of religion, but speaking thoughtlessly and belike overheated with
wine or excess of mirth, chanced one day to say to a company of his
friends that he had a wine so good that Christ himself might drink
thereof. This being reported to the inquisitor and he understanding
that the man's means were large and his purse well filled, ran in a
violent hurry _cum gladiis et fustibus_[53] to clap up a right
grievous suit against him, looking not for an amendment of misbelief
in the defendant, but for the filling of his own hand with florins to
ensue thereof (as indeed it did,) and causing him to be cited, asked
him if that which had been alleged against him were true.

[Footnote 53: _i.e._ with sword and whips, a technical term of
ecclesiastical procedure, about equivalent to our "with the strong arm
of the law."]

The good man replied that it was and told him how it chanced;
whereupon quoth the most holy inquisitor, who was a devotee of St.
John Goldenbeard,[54] 'Then hast thou made Christ a wine-bibber and
curious in wines of choice, as if he were Cinciglione[55] or what not
other of your drunken sots and tavern-haunters; and now thou speakest
lowly and wouldst feign this to be a very light matter! It is not as
thou deemest; thou hast merited the fire therefor, an we were minded
to deal with thee as we ought.' With these and many other words he
bespoke him, with as menacing a countenance as if the poor wretch had
been Epicurus denying the immortality of the soul, and in brief so
terrified him that the good simple soul, by means of certain
intermediaries, let grease his palm with a good dose of St. John
Goldenmouth's ointment[56] (the which is a sovereign remedy for the
pestilential covetise of the clergy and especially of the Minor
Brethren, who dare not touch money), so he should deal mercifully with
him.

[Footnote 54: _i.e._ a lover of money.]

[Footnote 55: A notorious drinker of the time.]

[Footnote 56: _i.e._ money.]

This unguent, being of great virtue (albeit Galen speaketh not thereof
in any part of his Medicines), wrought to such purpose that the fire
denounced against him was by favour commuted into [the wearing, by way
of penance, of] a cross, and to make the finer banner, as he were to
go a crusading beyond seas, the inquisitor imposed it him yellow upon
black. Moreover, whenas he had gotten the money, he detained him about
himself some days, enjoinin