m and put him under arrest, and locked him up in yo' barn and
brought _you_ de key, didn't I?

CLARKE
You sho did, but I God, I ast you whut become of de turkey?

LUM
De turkey wasn't picked or nothin', so I put him under 'rrest too,
jus' lak you tole me. (general laughter)

CLARKE
I God, Lum, whut did you _do_ wid de turkey after you put him under
'rrest?

LUM
Jim, he didn't want to come wid me till he could make it to Daisy's
house to give her det turkey but, bein so close up on him till he
couldn't draw his rifle, I throwed my 32:20 in his face an' tole him I
said "Don't you move! Don't you move uh pig do I'll burn you down! I
got my burner cocked dead in yo' face and I'll keer you down jus' lak
good gas went up. Come on wid me!" So I took his rifle and picked up
de turkey and marched him off to yo' cow-lot. Ast him didn't I do it.
I tole him, I said "I know you Westons goes for bad but I'm yo' match.
I said you may be slick but you kin stand another greasing. Now sir! I
ain't skeered uh nobody. I'll put de whole town under 'rrest.

MAYOR CLARKE
I God, Lum, if you don't tell me whut you done wid dat turkey, you
better! (draws back the gavel as if to hurl it at Lum) I'll lam you
over de head wid dis mallet! Whut did you do wid dat gobbler turkey?

LUM
Being as he wasn't picked or nothin', I know you didn't want to be
bothered wid it, so I took and carried it over to Mrs. Blunt's house
and she put on some hot water and we set up way Sat'day night pickin
de turkey and fixin him so nex' day she cooked him off--just sorta
baked him wid a lil stuffin an' such, so he'd keep.

MAYOR CLARKE
Didn't you know my wife knowed how to cook? Go fetch dat turkey here,
and don't let no dead lice fall off of you on de way.

LUM
(extremely embarrassed) I don't speck he's dere now, Mist' Clarke.

CLARKE
(ferociously) How come?

LUM
I passed by dere on Sunday and et a lil piece of shoulder offa him,
an' being everybody else was eatin' turkey too, I et some breast meat
an' uh mouf ful or two of stuffin' an' uh drum stick wid de ham part
of de leg hung on to it wid a lil gravy. (general laughter) I thought
I was doin' right cause [Note: corrected missing space] de turkey was
kilt for Daisy anyhow. So I jus' took it on to her. Dave was all hurt
up and Jim was locked up so--

CLARKE
Dat'll do! Dat'll do! Dry up, Suh! (turns to Dave) Stand up, Dave.
Since youse de one got hurted, you be de first witness and tell me
just w