successfully criticise
the conduct of this and that general with great severity; when they
appeal to him, he tells them quietly he has not the capacity to judge of
such matters; it requires a great mind and a thorough understanding of
all the circumstances.

After all I have said about General Ammen, it is hardly necessary to
remark that he does most of the talking.

To-day Garfield and Keifer, who of course entertain the kindliest
feelings, and the greatest respect for the General, in a spirit of fun,
entered into a conspiracy against him. They proposed for one night to do
all the talking themselves, and not allow him to edge in even a word.
After supper Garfield was to commence with the earliest incidents of his
childhood, and without allowing himself to be interrupted, continue
until he had given a complete narrative of his life and adventures; then
Keifer was to strike in and finish up the night. General Ammen was not
to be permitted to open his mouth except to yawn.

We ate supper and immediately adjourned to the adjoining tent. Before
Garfield was fairly seated on his camp stool, he began to talk with the
easy and deliberate manner of a man who had much to say. He dwelt
eloquently on the minutest details of his early life, as if they were
matters of the utmost importance. Keifer was not only an attentive
listener, but seemed wonderfully interested. Uncle Jacob undertook to
thrust in a word here and there, but Garfield was too much absorbed to
notice him, and so pushed on steadily, warming up as he proceeded.
Unfortunately for his scheme, however, before he had gone far he made a
touching reference to his mother, when Uncle Jacob, gesticulating
energetically, and with his forefinger leveled at the speaker, cried:
"Just a word--just one word right there," and so persisted until
Garfield was compelled either to yield or be absolutely discourteous.
The General, therefore, got in his word; nay, he held the floor for the
remainder of the evening. The conspirators made brave efforts to put him
down and cut him off, but they were unsuccessful. At midnight, when
Keifer and I left, he was still talking; and after we had got into bed,
he, with his suspenders dangling about his legs, thrust his head into
our tent-door, and favored us with the few observations we had lost by
reason of our hasty departure. Keifer turned his face to the wall and
groaned. Poor man! he had been hoisted by his own petard. I think Uncle
Jacob sus