pendin' er de day
Wid good ol' Mister Abra'm, but he mighty fur away!"

"Will you please, suh," say de rich man, "ax him bring a drink ter me,
Wid a li'l' ice ter cool it? Kaze I hot ez hot kin be!"
But Satan fall ter laughin', whilst he stir de fire roun':--
"De ice would melt, my brother, 'fo' it ever hit de groun'!"

Den he fill a cup wid brimstone--fill it steamin' ter de top;
But de rich man say he swear off, dat he never tech a drop!
But Satan grab his pitchfork whilst de rich man give a squall,
En in 'bout a half a second he had swallered cup en all!

Now, dat's erbout de story er de rich man at de feas',
What wouldn't pass de 'possum roun' when Laz'rus want a piece.
De 'possum means yo' pocketbook, de moral's plain ez day:
Shake de dollars in de basket 'fo' you go de rich man's way!

THE TWO SUITORS

BY CAROLYN WELLS

Once on a Time there was a Charming Young Maiden who had Two Suitors.

One of These, who was of a Persistent and Persevering Nature, managed to
be Continually in the Young Lady's Company.

He would pay her a visit in the Morning, Drop In to Tea in the
Afternoon, and Call on her Again in the Evening.

He took her Driving, and he Escorted her to the Theater. He would take
her to a Party, and then he would Dance, or Sit on the Stairs, or Flit
into the Conservatory with her.

The Young Lady admired this man but she Wearied of his never-ceasing
Presence, and she Said to Herself, "If he were not Always at my Elbow I
should Better Appreciate his Good Qualities."

The Other Suitor, who considered himself a Man of Deep and Penetrating
Cleverness, said to himself, "I will Go Away for a Time, and then my
Fair One will Realize my Worth and Call Me Back to Her."

With a sad Visage he made his Adieus, and he Exacted her Pledge to Write
to him Occasionally. But after he had Gone she Forgot her Promise, and
Soon she Forgot his Very Existence.

MORALS:

This Fable teaches that Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder, and that
Out of Sight is Out of Mind.

THE RECRUIT

BY ROBERT W. CHAMBERS

Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
"Bedad, yer a bad 'un!
Now turn out yer toes!
Yer belt is unhookit,
Yer cap is on crookit,
Ye may not be dhrunk,
But, be jabers, ye look it!
Wan--two!
Wan--two!
Ye monkey-faced divil, I'll jolly ye through!
Wan-