ade, an th'
skrikes shoo made--for shoo thowt for sewer it wor th' owd dule
hissen--an Mally's grooans, it sooin browt aght Hepsabah an all th'
naybors, an it worn't till a poleeceman coom at onnybody could tell what
wor to do.

Ov coarse, th' furst thing th' poleeceman did wor to arrest Mally for
bein drunk an disorderly, an ther's noa daat shoo lukt it; an then they
all made a rush to th' haase, for th' sooit wor rollin aght oth' door as
if th' place wor afire. Sittin on th' floor, ith' middle ov a cart looad
o' sooit, wor a poor human crayter, coffin an spittin,--(an some sed,
swearin,) an when he wor browt into th' dayleet, it wor Sammywell.

As sooin as he could get his breeath, he started to shak hissen,--when
th' woman 'at belanged th' clooas hit him on th' heead wi a prop, an wod
ha done moor but Mally interfered. When th' scare wor ovver, th' naybor
wimmen did nowt but laff, an Sammywell and Mally went into th' haase an
shut th' door.

"Whativver has ta been doing?" axt Mally.

"Aw've been sweepin th' chimley," sed Sammywell.

"An a bonny job tha's made on it. If tha can find onny sooap an watter
onnywhear, goa and gie thisen a gooid swill an then change thi' clooas,
an leeav me to tackle this mess. Aw dooant blame thee a bit moor nor aw
blame misen, for knowin what a fooil tha art, and what a mullock tha
allus maks ov ivverything tha offers to do, aw owt to ha had moor sense
nor mention sich a thing to thi."

Sammywell thowt th' less he sed an th' better, an he went at once to do
as he wor tell'd. He wor as anxious to get away as shoo wor to be shut
on him, an as he wor gooin aght, Mally sed,--

"Whear are ta gooin an what are ta gooin to do?"

"Awm gooin to a funeral befoor tha sees me agean."

"Aw didn't know onnybody wor deead. Who's funeral will it be?"

"Parker's."

Hepsabah's Hat.

"Some fowk are nivver satisfied! Aw've noa patience wi' sich like! Th'
moor some fowk have an th' moor they want. Ther wor noa sich stinkin
pride when aw wor young; but young folk nah dooant know what ails em.
When aw wor a lass it wor thowt to be quite enuff if one wor plainly an
respectably donned, an if they had onny pride, it wor to know at ther
underclooas wor cleean an sweet an fit to be seen, but nah it's all top
finery an fluff they think abaat; but if they'd darn ther stockins an
wesh ther shifts a bit ofter, asteead o' wantin to spooart new gaons an
hats ivvery few days it ud seem em better. At