rable unsullied name, and until I can
find these I have no room in my mind or heart for a lover!"
As the events of the day, temporarily banished from her thoughts by
the unexpected character of the interview, rushed back with renewed
force and bitterness, the transient colour died out of her face,
leaving it strangely wan and worn in aspect; and Mr. Palma saw now
that purple shadows lay beneath the deep eyes, rendering them more
than ever prophetic in their solemn mournful expression.
"What unusual occurrence has stimulated your interest and curiosity
concerning your parentage?"
"It never slumbers. It is the last thought at night, and the first
when the day dawns. It is a burden that is never lifted, that galls
continually; and sometimes, as to-night, I feel that I cannot endure
it much longer."
"You must be patient, for awhile at least----"
"Yes, I have heard that for ten long years, and I have been both
patient and silent: but the time has come when I can bear no more.
Anything positive, definite, susceptible of proof, no matter how
distressing, would be more tolerable than this suspense, this
maddening conjecture. I will see my mother; I must know the truth, be
it what it may!"
The witchery of childhood had vanished for ever. Even the glimmer of
hope seemed paling in the almost supernatural eyes, that had grown
prematurely womanly; viewing life no more through the rainbow lenses
of sanguine girlhood, but henceforth as an anxious woman haunting the
penetralia of sorrow, never oblivious of the fact that over her path
hovered the gibing spectre of disgrace.
The unwonted recklessness of her tone and mien annoyed and surprised
her guardian, and while a frown gathered on his brow he rose and
stood beside her.
"Your petulant vehemence is both unbecoming and displeasing; and in
future you would do well to recollect that, as a child submitted to
my guidance by your mother's desire, it is disrespectful both to her
and to me to insist upon a course at variance with our judgment and
wishes."
"I am not a child. To-day I know, I feel, I have done for ever with
my old--happy childhood; I am--what I wish I were not, a woman. Oh,
Mr. Palma, be merciful, and send me to mother!"
He looked down into the worn face gleaming under the gas-lamps of the
chandelier, into the shadowy eloquent eyes, and noting the bloodless
lips drawn sharply into curves of pain, his hand fell upon her
shoulder.
"Lily, because I am me
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