ok Jack Armstrong's.
Lately he has got possession of a noble asset. It is the _Cotter's
Saturday Night_, by Robert Burns. I propose to ask him to let us share
his enjoyment of this treasure."

Abe, who had been sitting with his legs doubled beneath him on a buffalo
skin, between Joe and Betsey Traylor, rose and said:

"Mr. Kelso's remarks, especially the part which applied to me, remind me
of the story of the prosperous grocer of Joliet. One Saturday night he
and his boys were busy selling sausage. Suddenly in came a man with whom
he had quarreled and laid two dead cats on the counter.

"'There,' said he, 'this makes seven to-day. I'll call Monday and get my
money.'

"We were doing a good business here making fun. It seems a pity to ruin
it and throw suspicion on the quality of the goods by throwing a cat on
the counter. I'll only throw one cat. It is entitled:

MY SISTER SUE

"Say, boys, I guess 'at none o' you
Has ever seen my sister Sue,
She kin rassle an' turn han'springs kerflop,
But Jimmy Crimps!--ye should see her hop!
Yes, sir!

"She kin h'ist one foot an' go like Ned!
An' hop on top o' my mother's bed,
An' back an' round the house she'll go,
'Ith her ol' knee as limber as a hickory bow,
Yes, sir!

"She kin sing a hull song 'ithout ketchin' her breath,
An' make up a face 'at 'ud scare ye to death!
She kin wiggle her ears an' cross her eyes
An' stick out her tongue till yer hair 'ud rise.
Yes, sir!

"An' play wildcat on her han's an' knees,
Honest! 'T would give ye the gibberees!
An' she sneaks along an' jumps at you
An' gives sech a yell!--my sister Sue!
Yes, sir!

"She kin shoot off a gun an' set a trap,
An' if you don't behave she kin give you a slap
She kin holler and scream like a flock o' geese
An' stan' on her head an' speak a piece.
Yes, sir!

"She kin run cross legged an' ride a cow,
An' jump from the beam to the big hay mow.
I reckon yer hair 'ud stan' up to see 'er
A breakin' a colt er throwin' a steer,
Yes, sir!

"My sister Susan has got a beau.
When he comes she sets an' acts jes' so,
An' talks so proper--it's zac'ly jes
Like the flummididles on her dress,
Yes, sir!

"When she stan's in that darn ol' Sunday gown
Ye'd think a grasshopper could knock 'er down.
An' she laughs kind o' sick--like a kitten's mew--
Ye wouldn't think 'twas my sister Sue,
No,