rst carefully pondered the words of both antagonist and
protagonist.

However important it may be to attain self-control in light social
converse, or about the family table, it is undeniably vital to have
oneself perfectly in hand while taking part in a momentous conference.
Then the hints that we have given on poise, alertness, precision of
word, clearness of statement, and force of utterance, with respect to
public speech, are equally applicable to conversation.

The form of nervous egotism--for it is both--that suddenly ends in
flusters just when the vital words need to be uttered, is the sign of
coming defeat, for a conversation is often a contest. If you feel this
tendency embarrassing you, be sure to listen to Holmes's advice:

And when you stick on conversational burs,
Don't strew your pathway with those dreadful _urs_.

Here bring your will into action, for your trouble is a wandering
attention. You must _force_ your mind to persist along the chosen line
of conversation and resolutely refuse to be diverted by _any_ subject or
happening that may unexpectedly pop up to distract you. To fail here is
to lose effectiveness utterly.

Concentration is the keynote of conversational charm and efficiency. The
haphazard habit of expression that uses bird-shot when a bullet is
needed insures missing the game, for diplomacy of all sorts rests upon
the precise application of precise words, particularly--if one may
paraphrase Tallyrand--in those crises when language is no longer used to
conceal thought.

We may frequently gain new light on old subjects by looking at
word-derivations. Conversation signifies in the original a turn-about
exchange of ideas, yet most people seem to regard it as a monologue.
Bronson Alcott used to say that many could argue, but few converse.
The first thing to remember in conversation, then, is that
listening--respectful, sympathetic, alert listening--is not only due to
our fellow converser but due to ourselves. Many a reply loses its point
because the speaker is so much interested in what he is about to say
that it is really no reply at all but merely an irritating and
humiliating irrelevancy.

Self-expression is exhilarating. This explains the eternal impulse to
decorate totem poles and paint pictures, write poetry and expound
philosophy. One of the chief delights of conversation is the opportunity
it affords for self-expression. A good conversationalist who monopolizes
all the co