profaning anything sacred; much less would I attempt to
ridicule your lordship. But the truth is, I know little or nothing of
the Bible, and consequently any mistaken references to it that I may
sincerely make, ought not to be uncharitably misinterpreted--ahem! 'We
are going on swimmingly' as Jonah said to the whale, or the whale to
Jonah, I cannot say which, is an expression which I have frequently
heard, and I took it for granted that it was a scriptural quotation.
Your lordship is not aware, besides, that I am afflicted with a very bad
memory."

"Perfectly aware of it, Dunroe: since I have been forced to observe that
you forget every duty of life. What is there honorable to yourself or
your position in the world, that you ever have remembered? And supposing
now, on the one hand, that you may for the present only affect a
temporary reformation, and put in practice that worst of vices, a
moral expediency, and taking it for granted, on the other, that
your resolution to amend is sincere, by what act am I to test that
sincerity?"

"I will begin and read the Bible, my lord, and engage a parson to
instruct me in virtue. Isn't that generally the first step?"

"I do not forbid you the Bible, nor the instructions of a pious
clergyman; but I beg to propose a test that will much more
satisfactorily establish that sincerity. First, give up your dissipated
and immoral habits; contract your expenditure within reasonable limits;
pay your just debts, by which I mean your debts of honesty, not
of honor--unless they have been lost to a man of honor, and not to
notorious swindlers; forbear to associate any longer with sharpers and
blacklegs, whether aristocratic or plebeian; and as a first proof of
the sincerity you claim, dismiss forever from your society that
fellow, Norton, who is, I am sorry to say, your bosom friend and boon
companion."

"With every condition you have proposed, my lord, I am willing and ready
to comply, the last only excepted. I am sorry to find that you have
conceived so strong and unfounded a prejudice against Mr. Norton. You do
not know his value to me, my lord. He has been a Mentor to me--saved me
thousands by his ability and devotion to my interests. The fact is, he
is my friend. Now I am not prepared to give up and abandon my friend
without a just cause; and I regret that any persuasion to such an act
should proceed from you, my lord. In all your other propositions I shall
obey you implicitly; but in t