recognize such a thing. Or
if there be a Providence that foresees and directs, then we only fulfil
his purposes by whatever we do, whether the act be a crime or a virtue.
So that on either side I am safe. There, to be sure, is my brother's
son, against whom I have committed a crime; ay, but what, after all, is
a crime?--An injury to a fellow-creature. What is a virtue?--A benefit
to the same. Well, he has sustained an injury at my hands--be it
so--that is a crime; but I and my son have derived a benefit from the
act, and this turns it into a virtue; for as to who gains or who loses,
that is not a matter for the world, who have no distinct rule whereby
to determine its complexion or its character, unless by the usages and
necessities of life, which are varied by climate and education to such
an extent, that what is looked upon as a crime in one country or one
creed is frequently considered a virtue in another. As for futurity,
that is a sealed book which no man hitherto has been able to open. We
all know--and a dark and gloomy fact it is--that we must die.
Beyond that, the searches of human intellect cannot go, although the
imagination may project itself into a futurity of its own creation. Such
airy visions are not subjects sufficiently solid for belief. As for me,
if I believe nothing, the fault is not mine, for I can find nothing to
believe--nothing that can satisfy my reason. The contingencies of life,
as they cross and jostle each other, constitute by their accidental
results the only providential wisdom which I can discern, the proper
name of which is Chance. Who have I, for instance, to thank but
myself--my own energy of character, my own perseverance of purpose, my
own determined will--for accomplishing my own projects? I can perceive
no other agent, either visible or invisible. It is, however, a hard
creed--a painful creed, and one which requires great strength of mind
to entertain. Yet, on the other hand, when I reflect that it may be
only the result of a reaction in principle, proceeding from a latent
conviction that all is not right within, and that we reject the tribunal
because we are conscious that it must condemn us--abjure the authority
of the court because we have violated its jurisdiction; yes, when
I reflect upon this, it is then that these visitations of gloom and
wretchedness sometimes agonize my mind until it becomes dark and heated,
like hell, and I curse both myself and my creed. Now, however, when