o give an opinion on the
subject. I suppose I'm an ugly fellow myself, and yet I know a sartin
fair one that's not of that opinion--ahem!"

"Make yourself intelligible in the meantime," said his master: "I don't
properly understand you."

"That's just what the Mrs. Nortons say, your honor. 'I don't understand
you, sir;' and that is bekaise you keep me in the dark, and that I can't
explain to them properly what you want; divil a thing but an oracle
you've made of me. But as to beauty--only listen, sir. This mornin'
there came a woman to me wid a thin, sharp face, a fiery eye that looked
as if she had a drop in it, or was goin' to fight a north-wester, and a
thin, red nose that was nothing else than a stunner. She was, moreover,
a good deal of the gentleman on the upper lip--not to mention two or
three separate plantations of the same growth on different parts of the
chin. Altogether, I was very much struck with her appearance."

"You are too descriptive, Dandy," said his master, after enjoying the
description, however; "come to the point."

"Ay, that's just what she said," replied Dandy, "coaxing the point
of her nose wid her finger and thumb: 'Come to the point,' said she;
'mention the services your master requires from me.'

"'From you,' says I, lookin' astonished, as you may suppose--'from you,
ma'am?'

"'Yes, my good man, from me; I'm Mrs. Norton.'

"'Are you indeed, ma'am?' says I; 'I hope you're well, Mrs. Norton. My
master will be delighted to see you.'

"'What kind of a man is he?' she asked.

"'Young and handsome, ma'am,' says I; 'quite a janious in beauty.'

"'Well,' says my lady, 'so far so good; I'm young and handsome myself,
as you see, and I dare say we'll live happily enough together;' and as
she spoke, she pushed up an old bodice that was tied round something
that resembled a dried skeleton, which it only touched at points, like
a reel in a bottle, strivin', of course, to show off a good figure; she
then winked both eyes, as if she was meetin' a cloud o' dust, and agin
shuttin' one, as if she was coverin' me wid a rifle, whispered, 'You'll
find me generous maybe, if you desarve it. I'll increase your allowances
afther our marriage.'

"'Thanks, ma'am,' says I, 'but my masther isn't a marryin'
man--unfortunately, he is married; still,' says I, recoverin'
myself--for it struck me that she might be the right woman, afther
all--'although he's married, his wife's an invalid; so that it likely
you