1s. 10d. a pound more on our
tobacco. This last impost constitutes a real piece of self-denial on
the CHANCELLOR'S part, for he is much addicted to cigars both long
and strong, somewhat resembling those which enabled Mr. W.J. TRAVIS to
carry off the Amateur Golf Championship to America.

_Thursday, May 3rd._--The secrets of the Budget were so well kept that
Mr. LAW himself forgot the most important of them until to-day. In
future it will be a case of "one man (or woman) one dog," unless the
owner is prepared to pay on an ascending scale for his extra pets. In
our fight with Germany we must neglect no precaution however small.
To get the KAISER back to his kennel we will, if necessary, empty our
own. Doggedness is essential to victory, but not over-doggedness. Then
let us, in CALVERLEY'S phrase, "curtail the already cur-tailed cur."

* * * * *

[Illustration: A CADET'S DAY.

9 A.M.--SAD BAGS. 7 P.M.--GLAD RAGS.]

* * * * *

A MINISTERIAL WAIL.

["The most trenchant critics of the Government since its
formation have been Mr. PRINGLE and Mr. HOGGE."--_British
Weekly_].

The gipsy camping in a dingle
I reckon as a lucky dog;
He doesn't hear the voice of PRINGLE,
He doesn't hear the snorts of HOGGE.

The moujik crouching in his ingle
Somewhere near Tomsk or Taganrog
I envy; he is far from PRINGLE
And equally remote from HOGGE.

I find them deadly when they're single,
But deadlier in the duologue,
When the insufferable PRINGLE
Backs the intolerable HOGGE.

I'd rather walk for miles on shingle
Or flounder knee-deep in a bog
Than listen to a speech from PRINGLE
Or hearken to the howls of HOGGE.

Their tyrannous exactions mingle
The vices of Kings Stork and Log;
One day I give the palm to PRINGLE,
The next I offer it to HOGGE.

The style of _Mr. Alfred Jingle_
Was jumpy, but he did not clog
His sense with woolly words, like PRINGLE,
With priggish petulance, like HOGGE.

I'd love to see the _Bing Boys_ bingle,
To go to music-halls _incog._,
Instead of being posed by PRINGLE
And heckled by the hateful HOGGE.

My appetite is gone; I "pingle"
(As Norfolk puts it) with my prog;
My meals are marred by thoughts of PRINGLE,
My sleep is massacred by HOGGE.

O patriots, with your nerves a-tingle,
With all your righteous souls agog,