I have some reason to be angry, and I am
thinking of calling him out. I have come to ask your advice whether I
should do so or not. He has deeply injured me, by interfering between me
and the girl of my affections. What ought I to do in such a case?'

"'Fight him, by all means,' said Wooden-leg Waddy.

"'But the difficulty is this--he has offered me no affront, direct or
indirect--we have no quarrel whatever--and he has not paid any addresses
to the lady. He and I have scarcely been in contact at all. I do not see
how I can manage it immediately with any propriety. What then can I do
now?'

"'Do not fight him, by any means,' said Wooden-leg Waddy.

"'Still these are the facts of the case. He, whether intentionally or
not, is coming between me and my mistress, which is doing me an injury
perfectly equal to the grossest insult. How should I act?'

"'Fight him, by all means,' said Wooden-leg Waddy.

"'But then I fear if I were to call him out on a groundless quarrel, or
one which would appear to be such, that I should lose the good graces of
the lady, and be laughed at by my friends, or set down as a quarrelsome
and dangerous companion.'

"'Do not fight him then, by any means,' said Wooden-leg Waddy.

"'Yet as he is a military man, he must know enough of the etiquette of
these affairs to feel perfectly confident that he has affronted me; and
the opinion of a military man, standing, as of course he does, in the
rank and position of a gentleman, could not, I think, be overlooked
without disgrace.'

"'Fight him, by all means,' said Wooden-leg Waddy.

"'But then, talking of gentlemen, I own he is an officer of the 48th,
but his father is a fish-tackle seller in John Street, Kilkenny, who
keeps a three-halfpenny shop, where you may buy everything, from a
cheese to a cheese-toaster, from a felt hat to a pair of brogues, from a
pound of brown soap to a yard of huckaback towels. He got his commission
by his father's retiring from the Ormonde interest, and acting as
whipper-in to the sham freeholders from Castlecomer; and I am, as you
know, of the best blood of the Burkes--straight from the De Burgos
themselves--and when I think of that, I really do not like to meet this
Mr Brady.'

"'Do not fight him, by any means,' said Wooden-leg Waddy."

"This advice of your friend Waddy to you," said Tom Meggot, interrupting
Burke, "much resembles that which Pantagruel gave Panurge on the subject
of his marriage, as I heard a fr