and a snory
dog.

The stairs were bare, and our feet clattered crudely as we went up,
lighted by a stout young girl with bared arms, who carried a candle.
"What a hole!" snapped Lady Turnour; but when the door of a bedroom was
opened for her by the red-elbowed one, she cried out in despair. "Is
_this_ where you expect me to sleep, Samuel? I'm surprised at you! I'm
not sure it isn't an insult!"

"My darling, what can _I_ do?" implored the unfortunate bridegroom.

The red-elbowed maiden, beginning to take offence, set the candlestick
down on a narrow mantelpiece, with a slap, and removed herself from the
room with the dignity of a budding Jeanne d'Arc. We all three filed in,
I in the rear; and for one who won't accept the cup of life as the best
champagne the prospect certainly was depressing.

The belongings of the "two gentlemen" who were giving up their rights in
a lady's favour, had not yet been transferred to the "somewhere
outside." Those slippers under the bed could have belonged to no species
of human being but a commercial traveller; and on the table and one
chair were scattered various vague collars, neckties, and celluloid
cuffs. There was no fire in the fireplace, nor, by the prim look of it,
had there ever been one in the half century or so since necessity called
for an inn to be built.

I snatched from the chair a waistcoat tangled up in some suspenders, and
Lady Turnour, flinging herself down in her furs, burst out crying like a
cross child.

"If this is what you call adventure, Samuel, I hate it," she whimpered.
"You _would_ bring me motoring! I want a fire. I want hot water. I want
them now. And I want the room cleared and all these awful things taken
away this instant. I don't consider them _decent_. Whatever happens, I
shan't dream of getting into that bed to-night, and I don't feel now as
if I should eat any dinner."

Distracted, Sir Samuel looked piteously at me, and I sprang to the
rescue. I assured her ladyship that everything should be made nice for
her before she quite knew what had happened. If she would have patience
for _five_ minutes, _only_ five, she should have everything she wanted.
I would see to it myself. With that I ran away, followed by Sir Samuel's
grateful eyes. But, once downstairs, I realized what a task I had set
myself.

The whole establishment had gone mad over us. There had been enough to
do before, with the house full of _ces messieurs_, _les commis
voyageurs_, but