desired.

Which general line I followed and, the information having been gathered
and the report made up, I proceed to make out my expenditures of $45
for the month to forward to Empire for reimbursement. Now it needs no
deep detective experience to know that in such cases you naturally
begin with, "Well, what you going to drink, girls?" and end by paying
the bill in a lump sum--a large lump sum--and go your way in peace.
What more then could I do than set down such items as:

"May 12, Liquor, investigation, Panama--$6.50?"

But here I began to feel the tangling strands. Was it not stated that
all applications for reimbursement required an exact itemized account
of each separate expenditure, with the price of each? It did. But in
the first place I did not know half the beverages consumed in that
investigation by sight, smell, or name. In the second place I came
ostensibly as a "rounder"; it would perhaps have been advisable at the
close of each evening's entertainment to draw out note-book and pencil
and starting the round of the table announce:

"Now, girls, I'm a dee-tective. No, keep yer places, I ain't going to
pinch nobody. Anyhow I'm only a Zone detective. But I just want to ask
you a few questions. Now, Mamie, what's that you're drinking? Ah! A gin
ricky. And just how much does that cost--here? And you, Flossie? An
absinthe frappe? Ah! Very good. And what is the retail price of that
particular drink?"--and so on ad nauseum.

"Very true," replied authority, "that would of course be impossible.
But to be reimbursed you must set down in detail every item of
expenditure, and its price."

Reason and government red tape move in two parallel lines, with the
usual meeting-place.

Nor was that all. While the black Peruvian was on my staff I gave him
money for food. It was not merely expected, it was definitely so
ordered. Yet when I set down:

"May 27, To Peruvian for food--$.50." authority threw up its hands in
horror. Did I not know that reimbursements were ONLY for "liquor and
cigars, cab or boat hire, and meals away from home?" I did. But I also
knew that superiors had ordered me to feed the Peruvian. "To be sure!"
cried astounded authority. "But you set down such an expenditure as
follows:

"'May 27, Two bottles of beer, Pan., investigation--$.50.'

"And as you are allowed cab fare ONLY for yourself, when you take the
Peruvian or any one else out to Balboa in a cab you set down the item:

"'May 26, Cab,