friends are waiting to see me in the hall. The matron being away, her
parlor is locked, and there is nowhere to see my guests but in my own
room, and no time to enjoy them till the plaster is found. I settle
this matter, and circulate through the house to find Toddypestle, who
has no right, to leave the surgery till night. He is discovered in the
dead house, smoking a cigar; and very much the worse for his researches
among the spirituous preparations that fill the surgery shelves. He is
inclined to be gallant, and puts the finishing blow to the fire of my
wrath; for the tea-kettle lid flies off, and driving him before me to
his post, I fling down the order, take what I choose; and, leaving the
absurd incapable kissing his hand to me, depart, feeling, as Grandma
Riglesty is reported to have done, when she vainly sought for chips, in
Bimleck Jackwood's "shifless paster."

I find Dammer a well acted charade of his own name, and, just as I get
him done, struggling the while with a burning desire to clap an
adhesive strip across his mouth, full of heaven-defying oaths, Frank
takes up his boot to put it on, and exclaims:

"I'm blest ef here ain't that case now! I recollect seeing it pitch in
this mornin', but forgot all about it, till my heel went smash inter
it. Here, ma'am, ketch hold on it, and give the boys a sheet on't all
round, 'gainst it tumbles inter t'other boot next time yer want it."

If a look could annihilate, Francis Saucebox would have ceased to
exist; but it couldn't; therefore, he yet lives, to aggravate some
unhappy woman's soul, and wax fat in some equally congenial situation.

Now, while I'm freeing my mind, I should like to enter my protest
against employing convalescents as attendants, instead of strong,
properly trained, and cheerful men. How it may be in other places I
cannot say; but here it was a source of constant trouble and confusion,
these feeble, ignorant men trying to sweep, scrub, lift, and wait upon
their sicker comrades. One, with a diseased heart, was expected to run
up and down stairs, carry heavy trays, and move helpless men; he tried
it, and grew rapidly worse than when he first came: and, when he was
ordered out to march away to the convalescent hospital, fell, in a sort
of fit, before he turned the corner, and was brought back to die.
Another, hurt by a fall from his horse, endeavored to do his duty, but
failed entirely, and the wrath of the ward master fell upon the nurse,
who mus