) I fear you
will say I might very well have left my story untold till we met. But
I deeply feel your kindness and friendship towards me, which in truth
I may say, has been one chief source of happiness to me, ever since
my return to England: so you must excuse me. I am well sure that Mrs.
Lyell, who has sympathy for every one near her, will give me her hearty
congratulations.

Believe me my dear Lyell Yours most truly obliged CHAS. DARWIN.

(PLATE: MRS. DARWIN. Walker and Cockerell, ph. sc.)

LETTER 10. TO EMMA WEDGWOOD. Sunday Night. Athenaeum. [January 20th,
1839.]

...I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed my Maer visit,--I felt in
anticipation my future tranquil life: how I do hope you may be as happy
as I know I shall be: but it frightens me, as often as I think of what
a family you have been one of. I was thinking this morning how it came,
that I, who am fond of talking and am scarcely ever out of spirits,
should so entirely rest my notions of happiness on quietness, and a good
deal of solitude: but I believe the explanation is very simple and I
mention it because it will give you hopes, that I shall gradually grow
less of a brute, it is that during the five years of my voyage (and
indeed I may add these two last) which from the active manner in which
they have been passed, may be said to be the commencement of my real
life, the whole of my pleasure was derived from what passed in my mind,
while admiring views by myself, travelling across the wild deserts
or glorious forests or pacing the deck of the poor little "Beagle" at
night. Excuse this much egotism,--I give it you because I think you will
humanize me, and soon teach me there is greater happiness than building
theories and accumulating facts in silence and solitude. My own dearest
Emma, I earnestly pray, you may never regret the great, and I will add
very good, deed, you are to perform on the Tuesday: my own dear future
wife, God bless you...The Lyells called on me to-day after church; as
Lyell was so full of geology he was obliged to disgorge,--and I dine
there on Tuesday for an especial confidence. I was quite ashamed of
myself to-day, for we talked for half an hour, unsophisticated geology,
with poor Mrs. Lyell sitting by, a monument of patience. I want practice
in ill-treatment the female sex,--I did not observe Lyell had any
compunction; I hope to harden my conscience in time: few husbands
seem to find it difficult to effect this. Since my return