hed by him most nights, and saw him staring, but not seeing: his
eyes showed that they regarded nothing material. After a moment he gave
a great sigh, and his jaw fell. Donal thought he was dead. But
presently he came to himself like one escaping from torture: a terrible
dream was behind him, pulling at the skirts of his consciousness.

"I've seen her!" he said. "She's waiting for me to take me--but where I
do not know. She did not look angry, but then she seldom looked angry
when I was worst to her!--Grant, I beg of you, don't lose sight of
Davie. Make a man of him, and his mother will thank you. She was a good
woman, his mother, though I did what I could to spoil her! It was no
use! I never could!--and that was how she kept her hold of me. If I had
succeeded, there would have been an end of her power, and a genuine
heir to the earldom! What a damned fool I was to let it out! Who would
have been the worse!"

"He's a heartless, unnatural rascal, though," he resumed, "and has made
of me the fool I deserved to be made! His mother must see it was not my
fault! I would have set things right if I could! But it was too late!
And you tell me she has had a hand in letting the truth out--leaving
her letters about!--That's some comfort! She was always fair, and will
be the less hard on me. If I could see a chance of God being half as
good to me as my poor wife. She was my wife! I will say it in spite of
all the priests in the stupid universe! She was my wife, and deserved
to be my wife; and if I had her now, I would marry her, because she
would be foolish enough to like it, though I would not do it all the
time she was alive, let her beg ever so! Where was the use of giving
in, when I kept her in hand so easily that way? That was it! It was not
that I wanted to do her any wrong. But you should keep the lead. A man
mustn't play out his last trump and lose the lead. But then you never
know about dying! If I had known my poor wife was going to die, I would
have done whatever she wanted. We had merry times together! It was
those cursed drugs that wiled the soul out of me, and then the devil
went in and took its place!--There was curara in that last medicine,
I'll swear!--Look you here now, Grant:--if there were any way of
persuading God to give me a fresh lease of life! You say he hears
prayer: why shouldn't you ask him? I would make you any promise you
pleased--give you any security you wanted, hereafter to live a godly,
righteous,