his own
rents.

Mr. LABOUCHERE will negotiate with the Sublime Porte himself, at half
Sir H. DRUMMOND WOLFF'S salary, and promise not to grumble.

And, every Member of Parliament who has ever promised to "do something"
to improve the Dwellings of the Poor, and has done nothing, will spend
the whole of August in a slum-dwelling in Whitechapel.

* * * * *

Old Doggerel Adapted.

SOME say to keep the realm compact,
We must stick to the Union-Act;
Others, that to be one, and feel it,
We must immediately repeal it.
Strange that such difference should be,
'Twixt Uni_on_ and Uni_ty_!

* * * * *

How perfect Mr. RIDER HAGGARD'S latest story would he, if it weren't for
his persistent introduction of the low comedian, a stagey French cook of
the old farcical order. Couldn't he "find another way to (comic) man his
Haggard?" This quotation is from _The Taming of the Shrew_, adapted.

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

[Illustration: F.M. PUNCH'S PARLIAMENTARY REVIEW.

_Fac-Simile of Sketch made by our Special Artist on the Field._]

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday Night, July 4._--Floor of House strewed with
crackers to-night, popping off unexpectedly as proceedings advanced.
Immediately after Questions, ARTHUR BALFOUR brought up to whipping-post.
For so clever a young man ARTHUR has made serious mistake. Gave
definite pledge upon certain clause of Coercion Bill, then omitted
to fulfil it, and finally, when challenged, wriggled about and
endeavoured to show that his remissness of no practical consequence.
House doesn't like wriggling. Nobody but HART-DYKE came to assistance of
beleaguered Minister, and _he_ was incontinently put down by SPEAKER.
HALLEY-STEWART, that child of victory, came in fresh from Spalding.
Greeted with thunderous cheers from Opposition who have plucked up
spirits wonderfully.

Old Morality, in his oldest and most moral manner, moved to appropriate
remaining time of House for Government business. Fire opened upon him
from all sides in protest against arrangement. Every man with a Bill
wanted day to bring it forward. CHAPLIN in most magnificent manner
joined in protest. SMITH having replied in detail seemed that the
incident was closed. But in fact was only beginning. SMITH had greatly
shocked GLADSTONE by incidentally alluding to Opposition as "entirely