ur more
officials, all salaried--all fed, and clothed by the State. In due
course of time he is brought up before a magistrate, also well paid,
by whom the affair is investigated, and by him he is afterwards
transmitted to the sessions, where a new army of stipendiaries all
await him. But his journey is not ended. Convicted of his offence, he
is sentenced to seven years' transportation to one of the most remote
quarters of the globe. To convey him thither the government have
provided a ship and a crew, a supercargo and a surgeon; and, to sum up
in one word, before he has commenced the expiation of his crime, that
penny has cost the country something about three hundred pounds. Is
not this, I ask you, very like Talleyrand and the Prince?--the only
difference being, that we perform in sober earnest, what he merely
exhibited in sarcasm.

Now, my plan is, and I prefer to develop it in a single word, instead
of weakening its force by circumlocution. In lieu of letting a poor
man be reduced to his theft of one penny--give him two pence. _He_
will be a gainer by double the amount--not to speak of the
inappreciable value of his honesty--and _you_ the richer by 71,998
pence, under your present system expended upon policemen, magistrates,
judges, gaolers, turnkeys, and transports. Examine for a moment the
benefits of this system. Look at the incalculable advantages it
presents--the enormous revenue, the pecuniary profit, and the
patriotism, all preserved to the State, not to mention the additional
pleasure of disseminating happiness while you transport men's hearts,
not their bodies.

Here is a plan based upon the soundest philanthropy, the most rigid
economy, and the strictest common sense. Instead of training up a race
of men in some distant quarter of the globe, who may yet turn your
bitterest enemies, you will preserve to the country so many true-born
Britons, bound to you by a debt of gratitude. Upon what ground--on
what pretext--can you oppose the system? Do you openly confess that
you prefer vice to poverty, and punishment to prevention? Or is it
your pleasure to manufacture roguery for exportation, as the French do
politeness, and the Irish linen?

I offer the suggestion generously, freely, and spontaneously. If the
heads of the government choose to profit by the hint, I only ask in
return, that when the Chancellor of the Exchequer announces in his
place the immense reduction of expenditure, that he will also give
no