nd do not think I am thus
justly to be called "horrible atheist."

Now, what is to take place? What a curse I am to my parents! O Lord,
what a pleasant thing it is to have just _damned_ the happiness of
(probably) the only two people who care a damn about you in the world.

What is my life to be at this rate? What, you rascal? Answer--I have a
pistol at your throat. If all that I hold true and most desire to spread
is to be such death, and worse than death, in the eyes of my father and
mother, what the _devil_ am I to do?

Here is a good heavy cross with a vengeance, and all rough with rusty
nails that tear your fingers, only it is not I that have to carry it
alone; I hold the light end, but the heavy burden falls on these two.

Don't--I don't know what I was going to say. I am an abject idiot,
which, all things considered, is not remarkable.--Ever your affectionate
and horrible atheist,

R. L. STEVENSON.

FOOTNOTES:

[3] It was the father who, from dislike of a certain Edinburgh
Lewis, changed the sound and spelling of his son's second name to
Louis (spoken always with the "s" sounded), and it was the son
himself who about his eighteenth year dropped the use of his third
name and initial altogether.

[4] See a paper on _R. L. Stevenson in Wick_, by Margaret H. Roberton,
in Magazine of Wick Literary Society, Christmas 1903.

[5] Aikman's _Annals of the Persecution in Scotland_.

[6] Thomas Stevenson.

II

STUDENT DAYS--_Continued_

NEW FRIENDSHIPS--ORDERED SOUTH

JULY 1873-MAY 1874

The year 1873 was a critical one in Stevenson's life. Late in July he
went for the second time to pay a visit to Cockfield Rectory, the
pleasant Suffolk home of his cousin Mrs. Churchill Babington and her
husband. Another guest at the same time was Mrs. Sitwell--now my
wife--an intimate friend and connection by marriage of the hostess. I
was shortly due to join the party, when Mrs. Sitwell wrote telling me of
the "fine young spirit" she had found under her friend's roof, and
suggesting that I should hasten my visit so as to make his acquaintance
before he left. I came accordingly, and from that time on the fine young
spirit became a leading interest both in her life and mine. He had
thrown himself on her sympathies, in that troubled hour of his youth,
with entire dependence almost from the first, and clung to her devotedly
for the next two years as to an inspirer, consoler, and g