! I can't see him--I could never tell
him."
"It's got to be told," says I.
Then she nodded up and down, fastlike, and didn't say anything.
"It ain't really any of my business," says I, "but have you and him----
Well now----"
"You men----" She broke down. "You men--what do you know about a girl?
What have you men done to me?"
"We done all in God Almighty's world we knew how to do for you," says I.
"We'd of done more for you if we'd knowed how."
"Ah, is it so! You've made me the most unhappy girl in all the world."
I couldn't say a word to that. It went through me like a knife-cut. I
was glad that Old Man Wright wasn't there to hear it. I seen then that
him and me had failed. We could never play no other game, for this was
the only girl we had.
"You've brought me here," says she, "and I've been like a prisoner. But
I've done all I could."
"Didn't you like it here?" says I. "We done considerable on your
account. Don't you like us none?"
"Like you, Curly?" says she. "I love you! I love you!"
She come now and taken me by the shoulders and shook me. I didn't know
she was so strong before.
"I love you--love both of you," says she. "I'd die for you any minute,"
says she. "I'd try to cut my heart out for either of you now--if it come
to that. I tried it now, tonight. I tried it for an hour--two hours. I
didn't know what it meant before."
"He ast you, Bonnie?" says I.
"Yes, yes," says she. "The poor boy! I like him so much--I pity him."
"My Gawd! Bonnie, you haven't refused him?" say I. "You haven't done
that? You haven't broke the pore fellow's heart?" says I. "Why did
you----"
"Why did you!" says she after me. "I told you he made it plain to me."
"What was it he made plain, Bonnie?" says I. "I suppose he, now, made
some sort of love? It ain't for me to talk of that."
"Yes, yes!" She says it out sharp and high. "He did. I know now what it
means to be a woman and in love. I never knew that before. But it
wasn't--it wasn't for him! He held me--I was a woman--and it wasn't for
him. How can I love---- What can I do? Why, I love you all, Curly--I
love you all! I love Tom in one way; and I'm sorry, because he's good.
But that isn't being a woman. It wasn't for him--it wasn't for him!"
She was sort of whispering by now.
"So he went right away?" says I.
She nodded.
"Maybe I've broken his heart. I've broken yours and my father's and my
own--all because I couldn't help being a woman. And
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