st we've heard of them. Mr. Steadman is a mightly
careless man to only register two children--Thomas J., born October
20, 1880, and Maud Mary, born sick a time 1882, and not a single
entry of the twins, either pair; and here the first we hear of them
is when they begin to feel the need of an education--Buck and Bright
trappin' gophers, and Lily and Rose delightin' large audiences with
'The Dyin' Nun' and other classic gems. Any father might well be
proud of them. I'll write to Mr. Steadman and tell him just what I
think of such carelessness. Even if Buck does toe in a little that's
no reason why him and his runnin' mate shouldn't have a place in the
files of his country. I'll mention to Mr. Steadman that we're deeply
indebted to his friend and neighbour for putting us right in regard
to his family tree.

"Well, Sir, I could see I had put my foot in it up to the knee, but I
was game, you bet, and looked back at him as cool as a cucumber. I
wasn't going to go back on them twins now when I had brought them
into the world, as you might say; so I just said George Steadman was
kinda careless about some things, he'd been cluttered up with
politics for quite a while, and I guess he'd overlooked having the
kids registered, but I'd speak to him about it. I'm a pretty good
bluffer myself, but I couldn't fool that man. His face seemed to me
to get longer every minute, and says he, when we were coming away,
'Give my love to the twins, Mr. Perkins, both pair--interestin'
children, I'm sure they are.'

"My land sakes alive, you should have heard Motherwell pitch into me
when we got out. Sam was as huffy about it as a wet hen.

"It's no good tryin' to fool them lads. I got my lesson that time, if
I'd just had sense enough to know it; but if you believe me, sir, I
got caught again. (Eh, what's that? Have another piece of chicken.)
It was when I went to Montreal to see about the lump in my jaw. Did
ye hear about the trouble we had that year, summer of '87? Big crop,
but frozen--forty-seven cents, by George, best you could do. Well,
sir, didn't I take a lump in my jaw--just like you've seen in those
mangy steers. It wasn't very big at first, but it grooved something
awful. I got a bottle of Mason's Lump jaw cure, but it just peeled
the hide off me, and the lump grew bigger than ever. The missus here
got scared she was goin' to lose me, and nothin' would do her but
that I'd have to go to Montreal to see Dr. Murray. Now, I've always
hea