don't it?" said Barkins.

"Horrid!" I cried, with a shudder.

"Moral: Don't try to peep into mandarins' gateways, Blacksmith,"
continued Barkins.

"Bosh! it's all gammon. I should like to see one of them try to cut my
head off."

"I shouldn't," I cried, laughing; "and he wouldn't."

"No," said Ching perfectly seriously. "Velly bad have head chop off.
Head velly useful."

"Very," said Barkins mockingly. "Well done, Chinese Wisdom. I say,
Herrick, why is a mandarin like the Grand Panjandrum?"

"Because he plays at the game of catch, catch, can and can't catch the
man who cuts off the English fellow's head," said Smith.

"Wrong!" cried Barkins. "Now you, Poet."

"Because he's got a little round button on the top."

"Good boy, go up one," cried Barkins.

"Hallo! what place is this?"

"Velly good place, eatee drinkee. All velly nicee nicee."

"Here, I say, Ching," cried Smith, "gently; any one would think we were
babies. Stow some of that nicee nicee."

"Yes! Stow all along inside, like ship. Allee good. Come 'long."

For we had reached a showy-looking open-sided building, standing a
little way back in a well-kept garden, with rockeries and tiny
fish-ponds, clipped trees and paved walks, while the large open house
displayed tables and neat-looking waiters going to and fro, attending
upon well-dressed Chinamen, whose occupation was so much in accordance
with our desires, that we entered at once, and Ching led the way to a
table; one of the waiters coming up smiling as soon as we were seated.

"Now then," cried Barkins, who was full of memories of hard biscuit and
tough salt beef, "what are we going to have to eat?"

"I don't know," I said, looking round uneasily. "What have they got?"

"Here, let's make Ching order the dinner," cried Smith. "Look here, old
chap. We can have a good dinner for a dollar apiece, can't we?"

"Velly good dinner, dollar piecee," he replied.

"That's right," said Barkins; "we don't have a chance every day to spend
a dollar upon our dinner. Go it, Ching. Tell the waiter fellow, and
order for yourself too. But I say, boys, we must have birds'-nest
soup."

"Of course," we chorussed, though Smith and I agreed afterwards that we
rather shrank from trying the delicacy.

Ching lost no time in giving the orders, and in a very few minutes the
man bustled up with saucers and basins, and we began tasting this and
tasting that as well as we could with the implements f