office and D. & E. going up comes H. Nevil to borrow again the
gall of which doth take me greatly.

_January seventeenth_

Am all of a taking for that the papers in my wife's divorce do be filed
into me this day and great to do when I learn that the cause she
declareth is Sarah Badminton a woman as little comely as never was and
mine own cousin. Verily the ways of a wife be past understanding.

_April eleventh_

Free this day and being free comes Mrs. Badminton weeping and declareth
she be ruined if I marry her not next the which doth so overcome me that
ere I have time to rally she hath kissed me and called me hers.

To my office with a heavy heart having no assurance of how this second
marriage will turn out and little hope but seeing H. Nevil with a long
face did refuse to give him any inside information the which led to his
going under about noon to my great joy for it was he who did get me in
this marrying habit.

_February first_

My birthday and Lord what eating and drinking the which being good
beyond compare my wife staying in the pantry to keep the whole in trim
and all my friends discoursing on my joy the which is truly great she
being so plain that a man will never look at her and so loving that she
adoreth me come smiles come frowns.

But that which doth astonish me much is that H. Nevil telleth me that
she that was once my wife is of exceeding content with Lasselle a piece
of news which I can scarce credit comparing him with myself.

But so wags the world.

THE PAINTERMINE[3]

BY KENYON COX

Its innocence deserves no jibe--
Pity the creature, do not mock it.
'Tis type of all the artist tribe;
Its trousers haven't any pocket!

[Footnote 3: From "Mixed Beasts," by Kenyon Cox. Copyright 1904, by Fox,
Duffield & Co.]

THE ADVERTISER

BY EUGENE FIELD

I am an advertiser great!
In letters bold
The praises of my wares I sound,
Prosperity is my estate;
The people come,
The people go
In one continuous,
Surging flow.
They buy my goods and come again
And I'm the happiest of men;
And this the reason I relate,
I'm an advertiser great!

There is a shop across the way
Where ne'er is heard a human tread,
Where trade is paralyzed and dead,
With ne'er a customer a day.
The people come,
The people go,
But never there.
They do not know
There's