anxiety.

"Ay, true! Well, Paul, I promised to devote my whole life to the pursuit
and apprehension of her murderer; and never to give room in my bosom to
any thought of love or marriage until that murderer should hang from n
gallows; and I sealed that promise with a solemn oath."

"That was all very strange, dear Miriam."

"Paul, yes it was--and it weighs upon me like lead. Paul, if two things
could be lifted off my heart, I should be happy. I should be happy as a
freed bird."

"And what are they, dear Miriam? What weights are they that I have not
power to lift from your heart?"

"Surely you may surmise--the first is our brother's sadness that
oppresses my spirits all the time; the second is the memory of that
unaccomplished vow; so equally do these two anxieties divide my
thoughts, that they seem connected--seem to be parts of the same
responsibility--and I even dreamed that the one could be accomplished
only with the other."

"Dearest Miriam, let me assure you, that such dreams and visions are but
the effect of your isolated life--they come from an over-heated brain
and over-strained nerves. And you must consent to throw off those
self-imposed weights, and be happy and joyous as a young creature
should."

"Alas, how can I throw them off, dear Paul?"

"In this way--first, for my brother's life-long sorrow, since you can
neither cure nor alleviate it, turn your thoughts away from it. As for
your vow, two circumstances combine to absolve you from it; the first is
this--that you were an irresponsible infant, when you were required to
make it--the second is, that it is impossible to perform it; these two
considerations fairly release you from its obligations. Look upon these
matters in this rational light, and all your dark and morbid dreams and
visions will disappear; and we shall have you joyous as any young bird,
sure enough. And I assure you, that your cheerfulness will be one of the
very best medicines for our brother. Will you follow my advice?"

"No, no, Paul! I cannot follow it in either instance! I cannot, Paul! it
is impossible! I cannot steel my heart against sympathy with his
sorrows, nor can I so ignore the requirements of my solemn vow. I do not
by any means think its accomplishment an impossibility, nor was it in
ignorance of its nature that I made it. No, Paul! I knew what I
promised, and I know that its performance is possible. Therefore I can
not feel absolved! I must accomplish my work; and