if I'm not careful I shall go a bit queer in the head. Get so
angry, you know," he added simply.

"Angry with whom?" I asked.

"With myself mostly for bein' such a bloody fool. But not only
myself--with Civilisation, Durward, old cock!--and also with that swine
Semyonov."

"Ah, I thought you'd come to him," I said.

"Now the points are these," he went on, counting on his thick stubbly
fingers. "First, I love Vera--and when I say love I mean love. Never
been in love before, you know--honest Injun, never.... Never had affairs
with tobacconists' daughters at Cambridge--never had an affair with a
woman in my life--no, never. Used to wonder what was the matter with me,
why I wasn't like other chaps. Now I know. I was waitin' for Vera. Quite
simple. I shall never love any one again--never. I'm not a kid, you
know, like young Bohun--I love Vera once and for all, and that's that..."

"Yes," I said. "And the next point?"

"The next point is that Vera loves me. No need to go into that--but she
does."

"Yes, she does," I said.

"Third point, she's married, and although she don't love her man she's
sorry for him. Fourth point, he loves her. Fifth point, there's a
damned swine hangin' round called Alexei Petrovitch Semyonov.... Well,
then, there you have it."

He considered, scratching his head. I waited. Then he went on:

"Now it would be simpler if she didn't want to be kind to Nicholas, if
Nicholas didn't love her, if--a thousand things were different. But they
must be as they are, I suppose. I've just been with her. She's nearly
out of her mind with worry."

He paused, puffing furiously at his pipe. Then he went on:

"She's worrying about me, about Nina, and about Nicholas. And especially
about Nicholas. There's something wrong with him. He knows about my
kissing her in the flat. Well, that's all right. I meant him to know.
Everything's just got to be above-board. But Semyonov knows too, and
that devil's been raggin' him about it, and Nicholas is just like a
bloomin' kid. That's got to stop. I'll wring that feller's neck. But
even that wouldn't help matters much. Vera says Nicholas is not to be
hurt whatever happens. 'Never mind us,' she says, 'we're strong and can
stand it.' But he can't. He's weak. And she says he's just goin' off his
dot. And it's got to be stopped--it's just got to be stopped. There's
only one way to stop it."

He stayed: suddenly he put his heavy hand on my knee.

"What do you mean?" I ask