ind him at the ferry, went off in the very
post-chaise which was waiting for Lady Lyndon. I saw and heard no more
of him for a considerable time; and now that he was out of the house,
did not consider him a very troublesome enemy.

But the cunning artifice of woman is such that, I think, in the long
run, no man, were he Machiavel himself, could escape from it; and
though I had ample proofs in the above transaction (in which my wife's
perfidious designs were frustrated by my foresight), and under her own
handwriting, of the deceitfulness of her character and her hatred
for me, yet she actually managed to deceive me, in spite of all my
precautions and the vigilance of my mother in my behalf. Had I followed
that good lady's advice, who scented the danger from afar off, as it
were, I should never have fallen into the snare prepared for me; and
which was laid in a way that was as successful as it was simple.

My Lady Lyndon's relation with me was a singular one. Her life was
passed in a crack-brained sort of alternation between love and hatred
for me. If I was in a good-humour with her (as occurred sometimes) there
was nothing she would not do to propitiate me further; and she would
be as absurd and violent in her expressions of fondness as, at other
moments, she would be in her demonstrations of hatred. It is not your
feeble easy husbands who are loved best in the world; according to my
experience of it. I do think the women like a little violence of temper,
and think no worse of a husband who exercises his authority pretty
smartly. I had got my Lady into such a terror about me, that when I
smiled, it was quite an era of happiness to her; and if I beckoned to
her, she would come fawning up to me like a dog. I recollect how, for
the few days I was at school, the cowardly mean-spirited fellows would
laugh if ever our schoolmaster made a joke. It was the same in
the regiment whenever the bully of a sergeant was disposed to be
jocular--not a recruit but was on the broad grin. Well, a wise and
determined husband will get his wife into this condition of discipline;
and I brought my high-born wife to kiss my hand, to pull off my boots,
to fetch and carry for me like a servant, and always to make it a
holiday, too, when I was in good-humour. I confided perhaps too much
in the duration of this disciplined obedience, and forgot that the very
hypocrisy which forms a part of it (all timid people are liars in their
hearts) may be exert