EDSTASTON. Excuse me. Pop off! Ha! ha! I can't help laughing: What's his
real name, by the way, in case I meet him?

VARINKA [surprised]. His real name? Popof, of course. Why do you laugh,
Little Father?

EDSTASTON. How can anyone with a sense of humor help laughing? Pop off!
[He is convulsed.]

VARINKA [looking at her uncle, taps her forehead significantly]!!

PATIOMKIN [aside to Varinka]. No: only English. He will amuse Catherine.
[To Edstaston.] Come, you shall tell the joke to the Empress: she is by
way of being a humorist [he takes him by the arm, and leads him towards
the door].

EDSTASTON [resisting]. No, really. I am not fit--

PATIOMKIN. Persuade him, Little angel Mother.

VARINKA [taking his other arm]. Yes, yes, yes. Little English Father:
God knows it is your duty to be brave and wait on the Empress. Come.

EDSTASTON. No. I had rather--

PATIOMKIN [hauling him along]. Come.

VARINKA [pulling him and coaxing him]. Come, little love: you can't
refuse me.

EDSTASTON. But how can I?

PATIOMKIN. Why not? She won't eat you.

VARINKA. She will; but you must come.

EDSTASTON. I assure you--it is quite out of the question--my clothes--

VARINKA. You look perfect.

PATIOMKIN. Come along, darling.

EDSTASTON [struggling]. Impossible--

VARINKA. Come, come, come.

EDSTASTON. No. Believe me--I don't wish--I--

VARINKA. Carry him, uncle.

PATIOMKIN [lifting him in his arms like a father carrying a little boy].
Yes: I'll carry you.

EDSTASTON. Dash it all, this is ridiculous!

VARINKA [seizing his ankles and dancing as he is carried out]. You must
come. If you kick you will blacken my eyes.

PATIOMKIN. Come, baby, come.

By this time they have made their way through the door and are out of
hearing.

THE SECOND SCENE

The Empress's petit lever. The central doors are closed. Those who
enter through them find on their left, on a dais of two broad steps, a
magnificent curtained bed. Beyond it a door in the panelling leads to
the Empress's cabinet. Near the foot of the bed, in the middle of
the room, stands a gilt chair, with the Imperial arms carved and the
Imperial monogram embroidered.

The Court is in attendance, standing in two melancholy rows down the
side of the room opposite to the bed, solemn, bored, waiting for the
Empress to awaken. The Princess Dashkoff, with two ladies, stands
a little in front of the line of courtiers, by the Imperial chair.
Silence, broken only by the